


Keeping Him Under

by OccasionalStorytelling



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Brainwashing, Canon Rewrite, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Happy Ending, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury, Kidnapping, Memory Loss, Mind Control, Torture, bc why not, lots of being angry and/or afraid and/or tortured, mal is kind of ruthless, uma is mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-02 06:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 23,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21157022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OccasionalStorytelling/pseuds/OccasionalStorytelling
Summary: Ben is pretty easy to spell. He goes down easy (notice that he can’t go a single movie without being spelled in some way), but he also breaks out pretty quickly and easily too. It takes quite an effort to keep him under.Imagine a world in which Uma wins at the end of D2 and marries Ben. She hides him away from a distraught Mal to keep her from interfering with Uma’s plans to open up the barrier to the Isle. Ben’s got strong instincts to resist magic, and she has to keep spelling him to keep him under control. Imagine the amount of effort Uma has to invest in keeping him under. But humans aren’t built to be spelled for so long at a time—they start to crack, and eventually, they break.A story in which Ben deals with the aftermath of being kidnapped and spelled, and certainly a story in which Ben is kidnapped and spelled a lot





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> listen to “vanilla twilight” by owl city for the same vibes as this story but in pastel. Vanilla Twilight, Did I Mention, Be Our Guest, and Queen of Mean—thats what I’m listening to to write this

Everything went according to plan. Uma successfully married Ben and assumed leadership of the kingdom, and Mal had been too choked up by the breakup to realize what was going on before Uma’s crew could get Ben out of the way, behind the scenes. Now all that remained was to keep Ben spelled for as long as possible (to prevent his escape) and keep Mal from finding Ben (giving her leverage to take away Uma’s rule of the kingdom). 

Only, it was exhausting work, keeping Ben spelled. It wasn’t that Ben was resisting, not exactly, but he had these...instincts, that kept pushing the boundaries of Uma’s ability to keep him under control. 

Uma started her day the way she always did—she poked her head into Ben’s bedroom, a carefully arranged room with no windows, to prevent anyone outside from seeing where he was being kept. Ben was still asleep when Uma came in. He was sleeping more and more these days. Uma kicked the edge of the bed to wake him. She had to check on her spell’s efficiency before starting her work. 

Ben stirred. “G’morning, Uma,” he said. His eyes had golden streaks in them where the magic was holding onto him. 

“Good morning. How did you sleep?” Uma asked. 

“Okay. Where’s...where’s...” Ben focused, crunching his eyebrows together. 

“Take your time,” Uma sighed. Maybe one of these days she could stop having to check on him every five minutes. 

“Where’s Mal?” Ben asked, eyes slightly brighter but not-quite-indicating there was something behind them. Not yet, anyway. 

“Mal is safe,” Uma said, adjusting her shell necklace to give Ben another jolt of energy. The spell swirled around Ben and Uma watched him breathe it in. 

“How do you feel?” Uma asked. 

“C’n I go swimming?” Ben asked, eyes glazed over. He wobbled slightly, not even able to sit fully upright. Uma’s magic wasn’t designed to keep someone under this long, who knew what other effects it was having—but it was necessary.

“Sure,” Uma said, standing up. 

“I...my mom said...supposed to go swimming in the enchanted lake...”

Those two things. Every morning, the same routine. No amount of spell seemed able to stop Ben from asking where Mal was and asking to go swimming in the enchanted lake. Either of those things had a good chance of breaking the spell. As easy as the boy was to curse, he was hard to break. Uma would have to keep trying. She released another dose of the spell into the room and ordered Ben to go back to sleep, which he promptly did, collapsing back into his pillows. 

Uma almost felt sorry for him for a second. The second passed. Ben’s desire to help the people on the Isle of the Lost was gone the second he got himself a girlfriend, but Uma wasn’t going to stop fighting for them. She just needed a little more time to figure out how to take down the barrier, then Mal could take Ben off her hands and leave, for all Uma cared. 

Uma spent the morning in conference with her pirates, who’d been scouring museums and raiding people’s houses for magical artifacts that could help. Nothing was any use to them. Uma was sure they just needed a few more days to find the solution. She’d been saying that for the past few weeks. 

Ben wandered into the conference room, half dressed, hair askew, with a dazed look on his face. 

“Get dressed,” Uma snapped. 

“I...am dressed?” Ben was so confused. Harry Hook looked away. The spell was always on, near-constant, and Uma kept renewing it. The effects on Ben were starting to show more and more, and it made Harry uncomfortable. Keeping Ben like that felt a little bit too much like torture for something that was supposed to be painless for everyone. 

“Never mind,” Uma said, ignoring Ben and turning back to the spell books. 

Harry walked over to Ben, who was staring at nothing in the distance.

“Hey, pal, how are you holding up?” Harry asked, softly. 

Ben’s eyes flicked for a brief moment with gold. “What...what am I supposed to do? Uma didn’t...she didn’t tell me?”

“Did you eat anything this morning?” Harry asked. 

“Don’t remember,” Ben said. He did the thing where he scrunched up his nose and eyebrows, like he always did when he was trying to remember something, or when he got close to breaking the spell. 

“Harry. Get back here. Talking to the king won’t solve our problem,” Uma said. 

“Go eat some breakfast, okay?” Harry said. “And some real food this time, okay? Don’t get into anything you’re not supposed to.”

“Harry,” Uma said, turning to face her second in command. 

“Yeh, yeh, I’m coming,” Harry sighed, movingback to the table even as he watched Ben wander aimlessly out of the conference room. There was no chance he was going to be able to find something to eat, not in his current state. “Someone should go with him. When’s the last time anybody saw him eat?”

“Does it matter?” Uma drawled. 

“Um,” Harry said, sweating. (He was afraid to meet Uma’s eyes.) “I was just...um, worried, that he hasn’t eaten anything and maybe if he were to starve or something...” he trailed off. 

“Go ahead. Say it,” Uma said, challengingly. 

“I just...Mal would—“

“Mal this, Mal that, I don’t CARE what Mal is going to do to us,” Uma said, standing up. “We have to find a way to open the isle so everyone can escape BEFORE Mal comes and finds us and does whatever she’s going to do that you’re so afraid of. And if I were you, Harry, I’d be more worried about what I am going to do to you if you can’t focus on these spellbooks.”

Harry sat down, saying nothing. 

“We can check on Ben when we break for lunch,” Uma said. 

Gil stood up and left the room. Uma knew he was probably going to check on Ben. Morale had been steadily dropping the more time they spent holed up working on the problem of the isle. Uma rubbed her forehead. She was getting a headache. It was so much effort keeping Ben under control. It was draining her. But it was only for a few more days. 


	2. Chapter 2

Gil found Ben lying face down in the hallway, in something of a crumpled heap. He’d either laid down for a nap or fallen and decided not to get up. 

Gil awkwardly maneuvered Ben into a sitting position against the wall. “Please don’t be injured, Mr. King Ben,” Gil whispered, “please, please...Uma would kill me.” Gil checked over Ben as much as he could. There was a faint trickle of blood running down Ben’s cheek, and a bruise forming higher up on his head. He’d fallen, then.

“Hey Gil,” Ben slurred. “Hey. Hey Gil.”

“Yeah?” 

“Hey Gil. Hey. Hey Gil. Hey Gil. Hey.”

Gil frantically looked back the at conference room doors. Uma could storm out any second. “I’m right here, now be quiet or—“ 

“Hey Gil. I gotta...” Ben made the face. “Come closer. I gotta ask you s’mthing.”

Gil leaned in closer. “What is it?”

“Where’s Mal?” Ben asked, blinking his big eyes and grabbing onto Gil’s shirt. 

“I don’t know,” Gil admitted, and Ben’s head lolled dangerously to the side even though he didn’t stop gripping Gil’s shirt. 

“Gil. Hey...hey Gil,” Ben murmured. 

“I’m right here,” Gil repeated. He was going to have to take Ben into the conference room and hope someone would see he needed medical attention. 

“Gil. What’s a Mal?” Ben asked, trying to blink gold out of his eyes. 

Gil paused. “What?” He almost didn’t dare to breathe. Ben took a moment to collect himself and mostly straightened against the wall. 

“I gotta...have a Mal. I need Mal. I...did I mention? I need...a Mal. I don’t...” Ben’s face screwed up into a twisted shape and he balled his hands into fists against his eyes. “I don’t remember what it is, sometimes. But I...Mal...” Ben trailed off and slumped to the floor. 

Gil took a deep breath and returned to the conference room. “Guys. Ben is collapsed in the hallway. He hurt himself again. We’d better—“

“He’s fine,” Uma groaned. “Get back to work. We’ll deal with him later.”

“But—“

One glance from Uma was enough to stop Gil in his tracks. He returned to the table, and went back to reading through spell books. 

“Like I was saying, Harry, it doesn’t matter if I have the authority of being queen if the fairy godmother won’t take my orders.”

“What if we—“

Hook and Uma were arguing again. Gil tried to focus on his book. He wasn’t sure he knew how to read, but he knew better than to bring that up now. Plus, this book was mostly pictures. 

“What if we found the Blue Fairy? Do you think she’d be powerful enough to—“

“What if we—“

Gil looked back at the door. He wasn’t sure if he could hear Ben or if he was imagining it, but faint strains of a song were coming through. 

“I think we should—“

“Did I...men’on, that m in...wif you, and did eye menyon...” the singing was getting louder. It wasn’t distinct, and it was slurred by Ben’s spell and probable concussion, but it was recognizable.

Uma froze, her face betraying no hint of how she felt or what she was going to do. 

“I’m going to give him another dose.” Uma stood. 

“That’s the third one today,” Harry said. 

“And?” Uma said. There was silence. 

“I think he’s hurt,” Gil said. 

“So you mentioned before. We’ll break for lunch. I’ll deal with...this.” Uma stood at the head of the table until her crew had completely filed out. What was happening with Ben wasn’t working. She would need to change tactics. She cracked her neck and marched out the door towards him. 

He was sleeping on the floor, a slight blood pool getting sticky beneath his face. He snored slightly. “Did eye...” he was talking in his sleep. “That eye min large...”

Uma frowned. Something was going to have to be done. 


	3. Chapter 3

Uma dragged Ben by one foot back into the bedroom. Ben continued to make sounds from the floor. Uma gave him another blast of magic and assessed the situation. 

She couldn’t let Ben wander the castle, as he was proving it was only too easy for him to hurt himself. She couldn’t assign anybody to watch him, because she needed everyone working on breaking open the isle—the breakthrough would come soon, she was sure. But she couldn’t just lock this door and leave Ben in here, because there were enough sharp corners in here that Ben could get hurt and no one would see. She couldn’t leave him on the bed, because if he flipped over, he would suffocate. 

She decided on the only option that seemed reasonable and tied Ben sitting upright in a chair, positioned so he couldn’t move himself too much. For all she knew, Ben was now going to demonstrate some kind of quasi-magical ability to escape ropes, but that would just be another annoyance on top of everything else. Ben’s stomach growled while Uma worked. She pretended not to notice, and he didn’t say anything. 

Uma stood up to survey her handiwork. Ben’s head dropped sideways, a bit of drool coming out of his mouth, but he seemed secure enough. The side of his head looked to be mostly dry now. Uma grabbed Ben’s chin in her hand and turned his head both ways, to make sure he wasn’t damaged anywhere else. Mal was probably not going to kill EVERYONE once she found a way in, but if Ben was openly bleeding like this, she might do something particularly mean to Uma. 

Uma titled Ben’s chin up. He couldn’t meet her eyes, exactly—his expression was slack and the golden magic twisted around his pupils. 

“Stay here and be good,” Uma said, letting go of Ben’s face and turning to leave. Ben dropped and didn’t move anymore. There was a soft dripping sound as a faint trickle of blood made its way to the floor. Uma closed the door behind her and turned out the lights. Maybe Ben would go to sleep. Behind the door, she thought she heard faint singing. It must have been her imagination, though—Ben didn’t have enough brain left to sing. 

On the other side of castle, a guard had spotted Mal in the forest just outside the protected walls. He reported this information to Gil, who took it directly to Harry, who decided that this information shouldn’t be delivered to Uma. “It’ll only make her mad, when she needs to focus,” Harry said. He was second in command, so he was obeyed. 

Harry and Gil left the castle in the direction where Mal had been spotted. For “reconnaissance.” Harry hoped Gil realized they were going out for more than scouting, or it was going to get ugly pretty fast. 

The spotted Mal pacing in a clearing before she saw them. Harry grabbed a white handkerchief out of his pocket and took a deep breath. They stepped into the clearing together, waving the white flag, hands up, trying to look non-threatening. In less time than it took for the boys to process what was going on, Mal was holding a sword pointed directly at Harry’s throat. 

“Touchy, aren’t ya,” Harry said, managing a grimace where he meant to produce a sexy smile. 

“You know what I’m here for. I suggest you tell me where he is.” Mal’s eyes were lit green, and her hair stood up with static electricity. She was dangerous, and she was angry. 

“That’s what we came here for!” Gil spluttered. “Don’t kill us, please.”

Mal didn’t move her sword, but she rounded her angry gaze on Gil. “Where. Is. He.” There was a fire in her stare that made Gil shudder involuntarily. 

“He’s being kept in a bedroom near the east wall of the castle,” Harry said, drawing Mal’s attention. Mal pressed the tip of the blade into his neck while he talked. He talked faster. “There’s no windows, so it’s harder to spot, but we can give you a map of the best way to get in. We can go back and tell the guards to get out, too, even though Uma usually doesn’t have anyone guarding him, he’s so—“ Harry stopped talking when Mal’s sword drew a drop of his blood. 

“Give me one reason why I should believe you,” Mal hissed. “Just one, and maybe I won’t kill you as a message for that waste of a pirate costume.”

“He’s hurt bad,” Gil said, looking away in embarrassment. “It’s not that Uma meant to do it, she really didn’t. It’s just...”

“What?” Mal snapped. 

“She’s been keeping him spelled this whole time,” Harry said. 

“What?!?” Mal stepped away for a moment, livid. “Tell me you’re lying. It’s been weeks! Don’t you know what that would do to someone?”

Harry shook his head, feeling at his neck with one hand. “He’s too smart. He has to be kept spelled or he breaks things, messes stuff up. Even the spell barely stops him, he keeps asking to swim in the enchanted lake, or to see you. Tell her, Gil.”

A soft smile came to Mal’s face for just a moment. “Yeah, that would be Ben. He’s got crazy instincts, you can’t keep him spelled for long.”

“Except...you can?” Gil’s voice came out in a squeaky question. “He DOES keep asking for you, but...um...”

“What is it?” Mal had calmed for the first time since they’d spotted her. She wiped her sword on a cloth and examined it. 

“He’s just...really out of it. Maybe once the spell’s off him he’ll be better, but he... um...” Gil gulped nervously. Mal was going to be so angry. 

“Go on, tell her, can’t be any worse,” Harry sighed. But it could be. Harry had no idea. Gil started to sweat. 

“I’ll find out for myself,” Mal said, straightening up. “Draw me the map you said you could make.”

Harry worked on a drawing in the dirt while Gil agonized. He and Mal whispered a conversation about the best entry point, and when the guards would be gone. 

“We’ve got to get back before Uma sees we’re gone,” Harry said, standing and dusting himself off. “Gil?”

“I’m...ready,” Gil said, still not looking at Mal. 

“Can you promise not to kill anyone?” Harry asked.

“We’ll see what kind of state he’s in when I get to him,” Mal said, sheathing her sword in exchange for a small dagger she would use to pick a window lock. 

“Um. You should know, then,” Gil started. “He fell and hit his head earlier, it was bleeding real bad.”

“Yeah, he “fell,” like I believe that,” Mal scoffed. “And how many times did he fall?”

“No, he really fell,” Gil insisted. “He’s...his head...sometimes he doesn’t remember who you are, he just knows he has to find you.”

There was a long silence as Mal took in this new information and Harry tried not to look surprised. 

“Maybe that’s to be expected if he’s been spelled for four weeks,” Mal said, calmly, moving closer to Gil as she readjusted her grip on the dagger. “I don’t suppose you’re lying to me.”

“No,” Gil whispered, shaking his head fervently. “But maybe when the spell’s gone, he’ll get better?”

“And if he doesn’t?” Mal said, coming very close to him. 

“Then—“

“Then I’m going to kill every single member of Uma’s crew, starting with the coward who can’t tell his boss when to stop torturing someone.” Mal dragged the flat side of the blade quickly over Gil’s chest. He staggered back, and tripped over a root. 

“Have you ever tried telling Uma something she didn’t want to hear?” Harry begged. “She can’t be stopped. Why do you think we came to tell you where he is? We’re trying to help him too.”

Mal gave one last glare at the two of them and disappeared into the shadows. Harry helped Gil up and they raced back to the castle. Out of breath, Harry ordered the guards to forget anything they’d seen. There were a few sharp nods and winked questions of “seen what?” before Harry and Gil returned to the dark castle interior. 


	4. Chapter 4

Uma came back to the conference room later than she’d planned. Harry and Gil were already there. “Back from lunch already?” Uma smiled. Gil’s stomach growled. 

“We couldn’t eat without you,” Harry said, oozing charm. “Come on, Uma, take a break before we get back to it.”

“Maybe I should. This whole mess with the king is depressing,” Um said, grabbing a bottle of water from the table and downing it. “We’re gonna have to gag him if he can’t stop singing that ridiculous song.”

“Oh, because it might lure Mal?” Gil asked. Harry resisted the urge to elbow him. 

“No, because I’m getting sick of it,” Uma laughed. She set the water bottle down on the table. “All right. We’ll have a lunch break for real this time. Tell the guards to go back on duty, don’t want anything happening while our guard is down.”

“Shouldn’t the guards take a break too?” Harry asked. “We’re all worried about you, it would be nice to just sit with our captain and hang out, like we used to back on the isle...” he held his breath as Uma frowned, but after a few moments her face lifted. 

“You’re right!” Uma laughed, shaking her head. “Mal hasn’t found us yet, and she won’t if we take a second for lunch. Morale has been low, lately. Gil, why don’t you go into the kitchen and see if there’s anything special? Maybe something with sugar.” 

Gil scampered off, and Uma put her arm around Harry’s shoulder. “I’m ready for a break. I haven’t eaten all day.”

Harry wavered for a moment. Ben hadn’t eaten all day either, he was pretty sure. But pointing that out to Uma might make her want to check on him, and she might see Mal breaking into the castle. It would be better for Ben to get out of here than to have another meal. So Harry laughed along with Uma and escorted her to the dining room, calling for the guards to join them along the way. 

With ruthless efficiency, Mal busted a hole in the wall, broke a lock off a window and slipped into the castle. She followed the map Harry had drawn as best as she could remember, but they were keeping the castle so dark. She kept quiet, and stayed close to walls. She could hear laughter in the distance, but never any footsteps close to her. She reached a door that she assumed was Ben’s, and she opened it. It wasn’t even locked. 

Ben sat slumped over, tied to a chair, bleeding from his head, and sitting in the dark. Mal closed her eyes, trying to sense if there were any magical protections around him. Nothing—just an overwhelming sense of the magic that was keeping Ben spelled. Mal took one step forward, right as a dagger swooshed next to her ear. She whipped around. 

Uma was standing in the hallway, holding her sword and affecting a bored look. “Darn it. I missed,” she said, lunging forward for another stab. 

Mal rolled into the room and Uma followed close behind, closing the door. 

“Hope those dragon eyes of yours are good in the dark,” Uma laughed. 

Mal blinked. She just needed a moment to adjust. “What, and you’re telling me you can see in the dark with some kind of deep-sea adapted vision?”

“Something like that,” Uma said, and the lights clicked on for the first time. Mal gasped to see for the first time in the light how hurt Ben was, the blood trailing down the side of his face and dripping to the floor. His head lolled uncomfortably sideways and his half-closed eyes flickered with golden energy. Uma stood over him with a sword only millimeters from slicing open his neck. “I knew I shouldn’t have let my guard down,” Uma said, shaking her head. “Too late now.”

“Let him go,” Mal said, in a low voice. She stood across the room, too far to stop Uma if she really wanted to kill Ben. 

“The way I see it, there’s a couple things that could happen,” Uma said. “Either I keep him, my little treasure, and you kill me for that, or I let him go, and you have no incentive not to kill me to keep him alive.”

“Who says I’m going to kill anyone?” Mal asked. 

“Where’s all your little friends?” Uma chuckled. “They didn’t like your plan?”

Mal shook off the insult and pressed forward. “Based on your plan, you’re in danger from me no matter what you do. Let him go and I’ll—“

“Not a step closer,” Uma said, pressing the blade into Ben’s neck just slightly. Ben gurgled. 

“Uma?” Ben was stirring, moving his head a little.

Uma tangled her fist in his hair to keep him from slicing open his own neck, not losing eye contact with Mal. “Shut up, idiot.”

“Okay,” Ben mumbled, eyes still closed, “but where’s...where’s...” his eyes screwed up tight as he concentrated. 

“I’ll get you out of this,” Mal said, her voice cracking. “Ben. I’m right here. I’ll get you out of this.”

“Mal!” Ben’s eyes lit up for a moment before he slumped again. “Uma, where’s Mal? That’s what I was...look’ng for...” he trailed off into soft mumbling and then silence. 

“I’ve got an idea,” Uma said carefully. “How about you leave, I double my guards, but I promise to take the spell off of him for a few days? Let him rest.”

Mal turned a fiery stare on Uma. Sheer willpower kept her in place. Her hair crackled with energy, and her fingertips shot little sparks involuntarily. “You’ll WHAT? That’s your PROMISE?!? You’ve treated him like this for weeks and you want me to walk out of here and believe he’ll be FINE?!?!?” She twitched, keeping control of her dragon form just under her skin. 

“I can’t let you have him, and I can’t let him go,” Uma said, very slowly. “You understand.”

“I understand perfectly,” Mal hissed. “You don’t know what kind of doom you’ve brought upon yourself with those words.”

Mal took a step backward, bracing herself. Uma moved to threaten Ben more effectively (maybe Mal needed to see more blood to be convinced) but Mal moved with lightning speed and shoved Uma’s sword aside. Uma lost her grip on Ben and stumbled back. Mal now stood between Ben and Uma, floating slightly with pent-up magic energy. 

“He was never going to free the rest of the children on the isle,” Uma said. “And neither were you. Don’t we have a duty to them?”

Mal snarled with a dragon’s voice, and grabbed Uma by the neck. She dragged her into the connected bathroom and closed the door. 

Ben closed his eyes as tight as he could, trying to focus. “Did eye...melon? That m in laugh with...” he hummed as best he could. He knew the melody, if only everything wasn’t so cloudy.

His arms kind of hurt. They were in a weird position behind his back. He couldn’t move them. He tried a few more times. Nope, he couldn’t move them. He thought one of them had fallen asleep. 

Maybe he should go back to sleep. He was tired. He didn’t remember the dreams he had, but he remembered waking up happy sometimes. And everything was so cloudy. Before he closed his eyes, he saw a door open to his left. A girl with purple hair came through the door and closed it behind her. That wasn’t Uma. That was...

She leaned down next to him and began doing something behind him. He felt himself able to move his arms again. He eloquently thanked her for her assistance by saying “arms?”

“Yes Ben, you can move your arms now,” she said. 

Ben was happy he’d been given permission. Uma didn’t like it if he did stuff without permission. He reached up with his right hand to touch his forehead and felt a dizzying pain where he touched. 

“Not there,” the girl said, moving his hand gently away. She was...

“Mal?” Ben whispered. 

The girl moved so she was crouching in front of him. She took his face in her hands. She was so cool and soft. Ben nuzzled his face into her hands a little bit. It felt nice. 

“That’s what a Mal is,” Ben said happily, and then passed out. 

Mal finished untying Ben and checked him over to make sure there were any major injuries on him. She picked him up princess style and carried him out of the bedroom, down the long hallways, past the pirate gang (they cowered before her sharp claws, dripping with blood) and out the front door. She didn’t even acknowledge Harry and Gil on her way out, she just walked into the forest with an unconscious Ben and left. 

“What...what do you think she did to Uma?” Gil whispered. 

“I don’t know,” Harry said, darkly. “Let’s go find out.”

“I’m scared,” Gil said. 

“Me too.” Harry clapped Gil on the shoulder and they walked back towards Ben’s room. 

“Uma’s going to be so mad when she realizes we let Mal in,” Gil said. 

“I get the feeling we won’t be so worried about Uma anymore,” Harry said.


	5. Chapter 5

Mal carried Ben, first in her arms, then on her back as a dragon, to Evie’s castle, where the rest of the Core Four were holed up. She landed outside the wall and transformed back into herself, keeping her arms around Ben to steady him. He hadn’t woken up since she’d taken him out of Uma’s grasp.

“Evie!” Mal called. “Please! Come outside!”

Evie appeared in a window. Mal saw her gasp, and the next thing she knew, Evie, Jay, and Carlos had all run out to the front gates to let them in. 

“Evie, I know you’re mad at me but I—“

“Let’s get him inside,” Evie said, helping Mal carry Ben into the castle. They brought him into a front room and laid him on a couch. “Carlos, get something for him to eat and drink. Jay, can you help him?” Evie pushed her hair back behind her ears, taking charge of the situation. Carlos and Jay nodded and left. Mal paced, never taking her eyes off Ben for more than a second. Evie sat next to Ben and felt at his forehead. She gently opened one of his eyes, and checked his pulse. 

“He’s hurt,” Mal said, holding back tears. She clenched her fist and dug her nails in, trying to focus on something other than how bad the situation was, how bad it could still get if Ben never woke up. 

Evie touched the side of Ben’s head. Ben stirred slightly, groaning. “I’ll ask Jay to get a warm, damp towel,” Evie said, looking away. 

“Evie, I...thank you for taking us in,” Mal said. “I know you didn’t...you didn’t think my plan was a good idea, and you didn’t want me to do anything too cruel to Uma. I’m sorry I suggested what I said before and I’m sorry I left without telling you, and—“

“Shh,” Evie said, wrapping Mal in a hug. “It doesn’t matter now what you did to get him out. He’s safe with us now.”

Mal let out a sob as Evie held her. “They were keeping him under a spell the whole time,” she choked out. 

“The whole time? But it’s been weeks!” Evie gasped, and a glare came over her face. “Maybe Uma deserved what she got.”

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Mal and Evie returned to Ben’s side. 

“His eyes are still flashing golden,” Evie said thoughtfully. “Are you sure you broke the spell?”

“I’m sure,” Mal shuddered. 

“The effects must still be lingering...I don’t know how long it’ll take for them to wear off. He’s been under for weeks? I can hardly believe it.” Carlos and Jay returned. Evie sent Jay for a warm towel and tilted Ben’s head up, trying to get him to drink a few sips of water. 

Ben started to sit up, as best he could, and Mal and Carlos helped him. He blinked and shook his head, squinting his eyes shut. “Uma?”

“She’s not here,” Mal said, rubbing his back soothingly. “It’s just me, Mal. Do you remember?” Jay returned and handed the towel to Evie. 

“Mal,” Ben sounded it out, and a soft smile came to his lips. “C’n I go swimming? My mom said...the enchanted lake...I should go swimming?” It came out like a child had asked the question. 

“The boy’s got instincts for it,” Evie laughed. 

“Not even the toughest spell could make him forget to try washing it off,” Carlos said, grinning. 

“You can go swimming,” Mal said, leaning at Ben’s side. “We’ll go to the enchanted lake tomorrow, as soon as you’ve had some rest.”

Ben nodded solemnly. “Yes,” he said. “I will remember to ask tomorrow, because Uma always forgets. But I have to go swimming. I—aghhh,” and his next sentence was cut off by a pained groan as Evie began cleaning his head wound. 

“Is he okay?” Jay asked. “He doesn’t sound so good.”

“Mal said Uma kept him spelled since we last saw him,” Evie said in a hushed voice. Carlos and Jay took a few steps backward. 

“She couldn’t have,” Carlos said, looking panicked. “What would that even do to someone?”

“It wouldn’t be pretty,” Jay said, looking down at Ben. “Oh. I’m so sorry, Mal.”

“It’s fine,” Mal said, managing to fake a smile. “It’ll be fine. Tomorrow, we’ll take him to the enchanted lake. We’ll move there, if we have to, so he can swim in it all day every day if he has to, he WILL get better!” She accentuated this last point by slamming her fist on the end of the couch, and Ben flinched. 

“Do you get mad like Uma?” He asked. A silence fell over the room. Ben closed his eyes and leaned his head back over the couch. “I’m tired. I’m going to sleep now.”

Mal stood there, frozen, watching Ben as Evie continued to clean the blood off of his face. 

“I’m going out,” Mal said, and it came out sharply. She briskly walked, almost ran from the room, and was in her dragon form flying away before anyone could stop her. 

“She’ll be back,” Evie said, watching her through the window. “She just needs some time.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Carlos asked. “I mean...is he going to get better?”

“I don’t know,” Evie said, looking down at the king of Auradon, passed out on her couch, bleeding, and still suffering from an evil spell. “I hope so.”

“Did eye melon,” Ben sang softly in his sleep. “That I’m in large with goo, did I onion...” he turned on his side and began snoring. 


	6. Chapter 6

Ben woke up in a room he didn’t recognize. For just a moment, he panicked, but he felt a warm golden glow wash over him and he calmed. He was in a comfortable bed, in a room with lots of windows and beautiful decorations. The last thing he could remember, he was with Mal. And he could remember who she was this morning, so that was always a plus. She wasn’t here right now, though. He got out of bed, wobbling a little bit on unsteady legs. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten. He was hungry. Clothes, though—that was a good first step. Evie came in while Ben was rummaging around in one of the drawers. 

“Ben!” Evie rushed over to him, almost dropping the cup of water she’d brought him. “You’re up! Good morning, how are you feeling?”

“I’m good,” Ben smiled, continuing to look for something that didn’t look like pajamas in one of the drawers. “Where’s Mal?”

“She’s in the room next door, she isn’t awake yet. She—woah!” Evie took a step back as Ben whipped around, his search for clothes forgotten. He bolted out the door, Evie following behind. He opened the door across the hallway from his own. Mal wasn’t there. “She’s in here,” Evie gestured to a different room. She opened the door, and Ben peeked in, almost like he was trying to confirm she was still there, that she hadn’t disappeared.

It certainly looked like Mal. “Is she spelled?” Ben whispered, turning to Evie. “What is she doing?”

“She’s sleeping,” Evie said. There was a look on her face Ben wasn’t sure he could identify. 

“Oh,” Ben said. “Do I have to leave?”

“You can stay,” Evie said, slowly. “She wouldn’t mind. Do you want me to bring you something for breakfast?”

There was a pause. Ben looked confused. “You’re...going to bring me something for breakfast?”

“I can if you want something. What do you want to eat?” Evie asked. 

“What are you bringing?” Ben asked, somehow looking even more confused. 

“What do you want?” Evie asked. “We’ve got some fresh fruit, some leftover pie, we’ve got almost anything you could ask us for.”

There was a pause. Ben constricted his sentence carefully, with some level of effort. “I...am supposed to pick...what you’re bringing?” He shook his head for a second to clear it (the effect was similar to a puppy shaking off water from a hose) and his face lit up. “Oh! You want me to guess? I’m good at that game.”

Mal opened her eyes and sat up. “What’s going on?”

“Mal!” Ben smiled at her, paused, and meandered out of the room. 

“Ben?” Mal threw off the covers and made as if to follow him, but Evie grabbed her shoulder and signaled her to wait. “I repeat my question. What’s going on?”

“I went to check on him, he was already awake, he demanded to see you, he didn’t know what he wanted to eat,” Evie ticked off the morning’s events on her fingers. “Mal, we need to talk about Ben.”

“It’s funny you should say that, because we do NOT need to talk about Ben,” Mal said, chuckling. 

“He’s—“

“Yeah, I know. Today I’ll take him to the enchanted lake, we’ll go swimming, maybe eat a strawberry or two, he’ll be totally back to normal before lunch.” Mal leaned back into her pillows comfortably. She was smug. “Nothing to it.”

“Mal,” Evie said, more seriously now. She sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t think the lake is going to fix him.”

“The lake has fixed literally every problem with magic we’ve had so far,” Mal said. 

“You said you already broke the spell. I don’t want to ask how, but you said you were sure.”

“Maybe I was wrong,” Mal said. “I obviously didn’t break the spell, as Ben is still unable to function.”

“I’m worried it’s not a spell,” Evie whispered. “I think...what if...what if Uma just broke him? And even with no magic, he’s just like this now?”

“We’re not having this conversation,” Mal said, standing up from the other side of the bed. She crossed to her dresser and began searching for her bathing suit. “We’re going to the lake, and everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

Evie came up from behind Mal and hugged her, right. “I’m worried about him too,” Evie said. “I’m sure the lake will fix whatever’s happening,” she lied. 

Mal turned around and hugged Evie back. “He can’t just be like this forever,” Mal said. “He can’t.”

“I know, I know,” Evie said, stroking her hair. “You should get dressed if you’re going out today.”

Mal wiped a not-quite-fallen year from her eye and nodded. “Yeah. Everything will be fine.”

Five minutes later, Mal was at Ben’s door, asking him to put on his bathing suit. Ten minutes later, Mal finished packing a picnic brunch for the two of them. Fifteen minutes later, Mal stood outside Ben’s door wondering why he wasn’t ready yet. Twenty minutes later, Mal knocked and asked him to hurry up. Thirty minutes later, Mal opened the door to discover that Ben had no idea where his bathing suit was and didn’t want to be a bother by asking for it. 

Thirty five minute later, dragon Mal carried Ben on her back out of the castle and towards the enchanted lake. 

“You’ll just swim in your clothes,” Mal said. 

“Okay,” Ben said. 

As satisfying as it would have been to drop Ben into the lake from above and watch him turn back into his normal self, Mal was pretty sure Ben would drown from forgetting how to swim before the spell broke. So she gently touched down on the stone decorations, and helped Ben into the water. 

“Isn’t that nice? Magic lake water,” Mal said, encouragingly. “No more Uma magic, only nice enchanted lake magic.”

“Swimming,” Ben said, smiling. 

“Yes, swimming,” Mal smiled back. Only a few more minutes of this before Ben would be back to normal. 

Ben and Mal sat down in the water together. Mal playfully splashed Ben, and after a few moments of confusion, he splashed back. They laughed and got each other soaking wet. Mal wiped water out of her eyes and looked into Ben’s. 

His eyes. So big and innocent, so golden—fuck. 

“Your eyes,” Mal said, trying not to sound disappointed. 

“Yeah?” Ben said, continuing to splash. 

“Never mind. Let’s keep swimming,” Mal said. 

“Swimming!” Ben laughed. “My mom said I’m supposed to.”

“Yay,” Mal said, doing her best not to sound fake.

In Ben’s eyes, streaks of gold kept appearing, fading away, and curling back around the hazel-green iris. Three hours later, there was no discernible change. The gold never went away permanently. Either Ben was still spelled and the lake wasn’t strong enough to fix it, or...the spell HAD been broken, which meant...

His eyes were still golden, so he must still be affected by the spell, Mal decided. If it was a spell, they could fix it. 

“I’m hungry,” Ben sniffed. He laughed out loud. “I’m hungry! I want to eat something.”

“You’re happy about being hungry?” Mal asked. “We were hungry a lot of the time on the isle, and I never liked it.”

“Hungry is a hard one,” Ben said. “It’s slippery. Easy to forget, especially if you hit your head or something. If you’re hurt, you don’t feel hungry so much. But I’m hungry!”

“Let’s eat something then,” Mal smiled. “I brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

“I’d never have guessed,” Ben said, crestfallen for a moment. He paused. “Was I supposed to guess?”

“No,” Mal said, holding back tears. “You’re fine. You’re good. You’re all good. You’re safe now.” She put her head in her hands and started crying. Ben looked up, suddenly more alert. 

“Mal? Mal,” he said, putting his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him. “If you’re stressed, it’s fine dining we suggest,” Ben sang. Mal sniffed and wiped away her tears. 

“Let’s eat,” she said. 


	7. Chapter 7

It had been three days since they’d rescued Ben. For the most part, he seemed to be getting back to normal, which was a huge relief to everyone—except for Mal. 

She surprised herself with how paranoid she was being. There was nothing she wanted more than for Ben to be fine and safe and completely free of Uma’s influence. But the trip to the enchanted lake had made her realize that getting to that state was going to be a lot more work than she’d thought. She couldn’t help being suspicious of how easily Ben exchanged his weird behaviors for different weird ones. 

What bothered her was how he changed around different people. Around Evie and Mal together, Ben was as close to “normal” as they’d seen him. Around Carlos and Jay, Ben seemed more relaxed, but he also didn’t talk unless it was to ask questions. Around just Mal, Ben didn’t make a single motion that didn’t look carefully thought out. Around just Carlos, Ben often acted almost drunk, getting clingy, getting his words confused...until anyone else came in. 

It looked more normal on the surface, but it didn’t feel normal. 

One night, Mal and Ben were sitting on the couch together. Mal was reading and running her fingers through Ben’s hair. Ben was staying very still and staring at the celling. 

“I used to be better at words,” Ben said, after a while. 

Mal kept her eyes on her book so she wouldn’t make him uncomfortable with eye contact, but all of her attention shifted to the conversation. “What do you mean?” she asked. 

“Maybe it’s not words, maybe it’s ideas,” Ben said, scrunching his nose a little bit. “I feel like...I used to say things, and people would listen.”

“You were—ARE the king,” Mal said, carefully not looking at him. She turned a page for dramatic effect. “It was your idea to transfer me and the others from the Isle, and you made it happen.”

“Yeah,” Ben said softly. There was a long silence. Mal hardly dared to breathe. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’m sorry. I haven’t had any good ideas like that in a while.”

“Sure you have,” Mal said, trying to be comforting. 

“If they were good ideas, wouldn’t people listen to me?” Ben asked. He sat up and faced Mal. She put down her book. “I’m not trying to contradict you. But why don’t people listen to me anymore? It’s got to be because I’m bad at words or ideas or something. Maybe people were only pretending my words were good before, and now they decided not to.”

“What makes you say that?” Mal said, leaning closer. 

“I don’t know,” Ben said, looking away. 

“I can’t help but feel like you DO know,” Mal said, trying not to push. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I...I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” Ben laid down across from Mal, out of reach of her ability to play with his hair.

“I’m here if you ever want to talk about anything. Or you don’t even have to talk to me,” Mal said, keeping her tone neutral and supportive, “you could talk to Evie, Carlos, Jay...plenty of your friends stop by here all the time, Doug was just here yesterday.”

Ben’s eyes grew wide, and Mal could see a golden tendril creeping across them. “...I have to talk to someone?” he asked, looking nervous. 

“You don’t have to do anything,” Mal said. 

“But you want me to.” Ben was accusing. 

“I want you to do what makes you feel comfortable. I want you to feel better. I want you to do what you want to do,” Mal said. 

“I don’t understand what you want!” Ben said, standing up from the couch. He paced for a moment before pointing to a corner near the fireplace. “Can I sit there?”

“You can do anything you want to,” Mal said, and it came out a little desperate.

“AAAAAAAaaaagh,” Ben groaned, grabbing at his hair with his fists. “It was easier with Uma!” He looked up at Mal, with a guilty expression on his face. “I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay,” Mal lied, keeping a comforting smile on her face. She picked her book back up to have something else to look at. “What do you mean?”

“You’re ordering me to tell you?” 

Mal couldn’t tell if Ben sounded hopeful or scared about that thought. She shrugged and pretended to read. “It doesn’t matter.” She hoped that was the right answer. 

Ben sat next to the fireplace and watched her pretend to read. Mal pretended not to watch Ben watching her. There was a long silence. 

“If you wanted to,” Ben said, “you could tell me what to do. You know that, right?”

Mal nodded, still not looking Ben in the eye. There was a pause as he figured out what he was trying to say. 

“I mean,” he continued, slowly, “I’ll do it. I can do anything. I’ve been doing better, I stopped asking you questions, didn’t I? You didn’t like that.”

Mal bit back her response that he’s just asked permission to sit next to the fireplace. “I don’t know what I’d like.”

“Then what do you expect me to do?” Ben was incredulous and frustrated. “I can do it, I promise. I’ll be good. I can do it. But I can’t predict what you want me to do, I’m sorry. I can’t keep anticipating all of your needs, you have to tell me.”

“I don’t have any needs—“

“But you do! That’s the thing,” Ben said, standing up. He paced and fidgeted with his hands. “You want me to...move a certain way, and have ideas like I used to, and...you want me to think differently!” He blurted. “I’m doing my best! I’ll get it right, you don’t have to look so disappointed all the time. Like you’re doing right now!”

“Don’t you want anything just because you WANT it?” Mal asked. She did NOT let a tear come to her eye, and she did NOT let her voice waver even the slightest.

“I don’t think I want things,” Ben said, quieter now. He came closer and looked into Mal’s face. He slowly reached out and touched on of her curls, then pulled his hand away. “Isn’t that better? I can be what you want me to be.”

“And I want you to be your own person,” Mal said, and this time she almost really did start to cry. 

“Don’t cry,” Ben said, touching his fingertip to her eye. “I’ll...I’ll do it. I promise. I can do it.”

Mal nodded slowly and regained control of herself. Ben resolved to do a better job at faking it—he had to figure out how to pretend to be a person again, and fast. He didn’t know what Mal would do if she got angry at him. Carlos could help him. Carlos was like Gil. Carlos didn’t expect Ben to be anything he wasn’t, Carlos didn’t mind when Ben asked for permission or lost control of one of his arms for a second. Maybe Carlos would tell him what to do, and then Mal wouldn’t have to cry so much. 


	8. Chapter 8

Ben stood in the bathroom, looking into the mirror. In his reflection, he was wearing a tourney uniform and holding a cookie. The reflection was smiling and laughing, and his eyes were closed. Ben looked down at himself. He was wearing pajamas. He was about to take them off and take a shower. He looked back the the mirror. 

“What am I supposed to do?” Ben asked the mirror. 

The reflection opened his eyes. They glowed in pure gold. “I feel...like singing her name! MAAAAAAAL!” He shouted aloud. 

Ben winced at the sound. “This is just a memory,” he told himself. “I remember this. Mal spelled me with a love potion.”

“Is that right?” The reflection asked. 

“Yes,” Ben said. “She wanted to be together, but I was with Audrey. She didn’t trust that it could happen naturally.”

“Okay,” the reflection laughed. He looked so happy. “It feels good being spelled. I can finally tell her how I really feel. I love her!”

“You have to take her to the enchanted lake,” Ben said. “That’s where you have to go when you get spelled.”

“You went there and it didn’t work,” the reflection pointed out. 

“It worked. I’m not spelled. I’m totally fine,” Ben said. And he genuinely believed it.

“You’re acting weird,” the reflection said. 

“Because I’m not acting like you? Because I care what people think of me? Because I want to make people happy?” Ben was getting angry. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What do you want in life?” The reflection asked. Ben blinked in response. “You used to want stuff,” the reflection said. “Was it right for Uma to spell you?”

“Yes,” Ben said, without hesitation. “She was trying to free the children on the isle of the lost, and didn’t trust that it would happen soon enough.”

“I think it’s not right for anyone to spell you, ever,” the reflection said. “They’re taking away your autonomy. Now that Mal has you here, she’ll just keep you under in her own way. Doesn’t some part of you want to be free?”

“Mal wouldn’t do that,” Ben said, “and I’m not spelled.”

“Yeah,” the reflection said, “because you always hallucinate talking to your mirror when you’re not spelled.”

Ben left. He was going to find Carlos, and Carlos was going to explain how he should act to make Mal happy, and everything would be perfect forever.

“You didn’t used to think like this!” The reflection yelled after him. “You used to be able to think for yourself!”

Ben could still think for himself, he was pretty sure. It’s just that he was supposed to do what other people said, that’s all. He was supposed to be good, and make people happy. It just made sense. 


	9. Chapter 9

This link will take you to “Me With No You,” a song by Bowling for Soup that Ben is about to sing. 

<https://youtu.be/f70j_OCqdOk>

“I’m not lost, I just haven’t found, everything I need,” Ben sang. “I’m not torn; I’m just getting it together.”

He walked past Mal and Evie, who were sketching together in the living room. Evie was designing a new dress, and Mal was trying to copy the shape of Evie’s hand holding the pencil. 

“I’m not broken,” Ben continued to sing, “don’t you mind the pieces of me you see scattered on the ground, I swear I’ll turn this thing around.”

He walked outside to the garden, past Jay, who was dribbling a soccer ball and practicing keeping it up in the air. Jay waved. Ben waved back. (Hand up, turn side to side to save energy, none of that over-the-top swinging your hand around, it would get you worn out before you ran out of people to wave to.)

“I’m not home, but I’m sitting here in my room,” Ben looked up at the sky. It was nice and blue, with just a few puffy clouds making it picturesque. “I’m a photograph in need of a zoom—“ but he was cut off by the tree he’d just walked directly into. “Ow.”

He stood up and dusted himself off. Just beyond where he’d fallen was the beginning of the trail where Carlos walked Dude every day. Ben followed it. 

“I feel far away, I can’t make out the face,” Ben sang. The forest was cool and quiet. He took a deep breath in. It smelled like pine. He loved it. 

“It’s all blurred, since you went away,” Ben finished singing, seeing Carlos ahead of him. “Carlos!” He called out. “Wait up!”

Carlos turned around and smiled. Ben jogged over to him and began walking in step. 

“How’s Dude?” Ben asked. 

“He’s great,” Carlos smiled. Dude barked once from the ground. “Happy as a dog can be, especially after he got into the treat bowl last night.”

Ben sighed happily. The forest, the fresh air, Carlos, everything just felt so nice. But he couldn’t let himself get distracted. He had a mission. 

“Carlos,” Ben started, “I need some help.”

“Of course, anything. With what?”

Ben fidgeted. “Mal doesn’t like how I’m acting.”

“She’s just getting used to it,” Carlos smiled and shrugged the comment off. 

“So you think I’m acting different too?” Ben asked. His face fell. 

“Well, sure,” Carlos said. “Different from when we first met you straight off the isle? Different from when you were under Mal’s love spell? Different from before you went to the isle to get Mal back? Different from the last time we saw you? People change, and it happens faster than you think,” Carlos said. “I mean, I’ve changed since we first met. I act differently now.”

“Yeah, that’s true!” Ben said, thinking it out.

“And Ben,” Carlos said, putting his hand on Ben’s shoulder, “buddy. You spent the past few weeks as a hostage, probably getting tortured. That would make anyone different.”

“I wasn’t...Uma didn’t...I wasn’t being tortured,” Ben insisted. He felt uncomfortable. He was sure he hadn’t been mistreated at all. He couldn’t think anything bad about Uma—no, he just didn’t want to think anything bad about her. 

Carlos looked at Ben, appraising him. His forehead was healing nicely, but he was covered in bruises, and there were some other marks on him that looked like they were going to scar. He looked back at Ben’s face, which displayed an expression somewhere between confusion and panic. Carlos recognized that look. Ben wore it a lot these days. It meant there was something in the way he’d been spelled or the way his brain had restructured itself that prevented him from thinking about something. Carlos knew better than to push it and drive Ben away, so he changed the subject. “So what did you need help with?”

“I need to change again,” Ben said, refocusing. “I need to act in a way that Mal likes.”

“Okay,” Carlos said, nodding. He left a pause so Ben would keep talking. 

“I’m...good, for Uma,” Ben forced the words out. “I know...how to be good for her. I need to know how to do that for Mal.”

“Good?”

“Yeah, like, um, you know. You work for Mal.”

“No I don’t,” Carlos said. “We’re friends. We just have each other’s backs, we hang out, we’re on the same team.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, friends,” Ben said, smacking his forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Carlos said. He paused. “You can apologize as much as you want, because I know it makes you feel more comfortable, but so far, you’ve never done anything to me you need to apologize for.”

“Oh,” Ben said. There was a silence. 

“Can you tell me more about wanting to be good for Mal?” Carlos asked. “You don’t have to. You can think about what you want— I mean, what you’re going to say for as long as you need.” He’d quickly learned that asking Ben what he wanted was a quick way to send him into a panic. Poor guy. 

“Don’t need to think,” Ben said, shaking his head. “Won’t help. Sentences about it are hard.”

“You don’t have to use sentences,” Carlos said, crouching to pet Dude as they kept walking. 

“Um. It’s not...fear. It’s not...she won’t...pain. It’s not that,” Ben started. He scrunched up his nose. “I don’t even have words for it. I just have to...be good. I can’t NOT try to be good.”

Carlos didn’t say it, but it sounded like it was about fear and pain. It sounded like Uma had made it clear to Ben what happened if he wasn’t well enough behaved. 

“Tell me who Mal is,” Carlos said, worried about the answer he might get.

Ben’s face went soft and his golden eyes lit up. He smiled a broad genuine smile. “Mal,” he breathed. “Mal is...in charge. She’s the boss. She’s perfect.”

“She’s your girlfriend,” Carlos said. “You remember that, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Ben said, waving away the question. “Why?”

“Because she’s your partner. You and her are equals. You both contribute to the relationship. If she’s not making you happy, she needs to change.”

“No, you’re silly,” Ben laughed. “It’s the other way around. She’s in charge. If I’m not making her happy, I need to change. And I’m not, so—“

“Are you happy?” Carlos asked. 

“Yes,” Ben said, and gold flashed over his vision. He felt dizzy. 

“But you’re saying Mal doesn’t like how you’re acting, and that’s making you unhappy, right?” Carlos pushed. 

“I don’t—“ 

“So Mal needs to change,” Carlos finished. “She needs to make you happy, the way you need to do the same for her, you know?” 

There was a silence as Ben thought about this. Carlos picked at his hair and hoped he hadn’t messed something up. 

“Mal’s...also spelled?” Ben finally asked. 

“Are you spelled?” Carlos asked. 

“No,” came the immediate answer. There was a pause. “No...yes? No.” The last “no” was firm and definite. Carlos didn’t believe it. 

“We should probably head back, this is about as far as Dude and I usually go,” Carlos said. 

“Am I coming?” Ben asked. 

Carlos paused. Ben was asking if he was being ordered to come home, which meant that he might want to stay out longer. If Carlos asked what he wanted, he wouldn’t know how to respond, but he couldn’t answer “yes” or “no” without committing Ben to following it as an order. He settled on “I don’t know,” and waited for Ben’s response. 

“I’m not,” Ben decided. “I’ll be another 10 minutes or so. Can I be alone?”

“Of course you can, buddy,” Carlos said, patting Ben on the shoulder and turning to leave with Dude. As he walked out of sight, Ben sat on a rock and put his head in his hands. 

“A million thoughts

In my head

Should I let my heart keep listening?” Ben sang. He ran his fingers through his hair. 

“Here and now

It’s just not right 

Nothing lost, but something missing.

I can’t

Decide

What’s wrong,

What’s right,

Which way,

Should I go?” The last note came out softly and quietly. 

“If only I knew what my

Mind was

Telling me,

Don’t know what I’m feeling,

Is this just a dream? Oh oh, yeah,” Ben sang. He felt himself start to cry. He shuddered slightly, even in the warmth of the day. 

“If only I could read the

Signs in front of me,

I could find my way back

To who I’m supposed to be,

Oh oh...

If only...” Ben sat on the rock and sang and cried. His tears were tinged with gold. When he stood up and wiped his eyes, for a moment, they were hazel-green again. The moment passed, and no one had been around to see. Ben walked back to the castle. 


	10. Chapter 10

“Will you, still be, with me, when the magic’s all run out,” Ben hummed. 

“Whatcha singing there?” Mal asked. 

“Nothing,” Ben said. He looked down at the breakfast in front of him. Scrambled eggs. He looked up at the Core Four around the table with him. They were all eating, joking with each other, it was clear they were close. Ben figured that hiding out from Uma after...everything happened, had made them closer as a team. He stood up and pushed his plate away from him. 

“I’m not hungry,” Ben said. He turned to leave. 

“You haven’t even touched your food!” Jay said. 

Ben didn’t bother responding. He walked out of the dining room and back to his own bedroom. It was so bright in there. All of the windows were letting in so much light. He closed the curtains, one after the other. There. That was a little more cozy, wasn’t it?

Ben sat down on his bed. He felt dizzy. Sitting down was only moderately easier, so he let himself collapse all the way back. He closed his eyes. He felt like he was getting a migraine. There was a sharp pain behind his eye sockets, reaching back into his skull. With his eyes closed, he could feel the pain pulsing with his heart beat. He tried keeping his eyes open, but that felt worse. So he closed his eyes and laid on his bed, willing himself to focus on something else. 

Ben’s door creaked open. Mal poked her head through. Ben didn’t notice. Mal crept inside, holding her spell book. She opened it and started to read. “No longer subject to evil’s whim, reverse what has been done to—“

Evie opened the door all the way, slamming it open. She stood behind Mal, crossing her arms. “You’re not seriously trying to spell him right now,” Evie glared. 

“What choice do I have?” Mal sobbed, turning to face her. “Look at him!”

Ben hadn’t opened his eyes or acknowledged the two of them in any way. He was crunching his fists over his face. He might have been crying. 

“Getting spelled is what did this to him,” Evie said, crossing to Mal and taking the spell book from her. “Don’t use more magic on him, that’s the last thing he needs.”

“You don’t understand,” Mal said. “This spell is guaranteed to break any curse, and it’s supposed to heal injuries too—“

“We’re treating Ben with bandaids and love, just as we should be doing,” Evie said. 

“It’s not working!” Mal was frustrated. 

“And you think spells will?” Evie raised an eyebrow. 

“I don’t know!” Mal flustered, throwing her arms up in a gesture of surrender. “I don’t know, but it’s better than doing nothing!”

“Are you...going to spell me?” Ben asked from the bed. He kept his hands over his eyes. 

“Ben,” Mal sobbed, going to sit next to him. 

“You can,” Ben said, sitting up. His hair was disheveled, his face was red, but his golden eyes were eerily calm. “I want you to. If it’ll make me better for you. If it’ll make you happy.”

“Ben—“ Evie stepped closer but Ben kept talking, eyes focused on Mal. 

“I want you to do it. It’ll be easier, for both of us. I won’t have to try so hard to please you, and you won’t be so disappointed. What’s the worst that could happen? I want you to do it.”

“I...maybe I cant,” Mal sniffed, lowering her head and wiping away her tears. 

“I want you to,” Ben said, but it didn’t feel right.

“I don’t think you do,” Mal wanted to start crying again. 

“Now you don’t believe me?” Ben was angry. “You’re the one who wanted me to want things, now that I finally do you’re going to—AAAAAAAGH,” he groaned, holding onto his head. He grimaced but he kept focused. “Do it. Spell me. Make the pain go away.”

“I...”

“Do it!” Ben roared, and screamed, pressing his hands over his eyes. 

Mal looked at Evie.

“I don’t know,” Evie said, biting her lip. 

“I’m going to try,” Mal said. She picked up the spell book. Ben laid down on the bed, breathing heavily, not moving his hands away from his face. His whole body was tense and contorted. 

“Ben, I’m going to put a spell on you now,” Mal said. “It’ll make the pain go away.”

“I already said it was fine,” Ben said through gritted teeth. “Uma spells me all the time, just do it.”

“Wait, what?” Evie asked. 

Mal put down her spell book and put her head in her hands. “Way to say the one thing that could stop me from doing it,” she whispered. She looked up at Evie. “This is what Uma did to him. If he was inconvenient, there was a spell to fix it. I can’t do that to him, not after I worked so hard getting him out.”

Evie nodded solemnly. “I’m going to go get a warm towel and a heating pad, maybe some lavender to calm him down. We’ll do this together.”

“Thank you,” Mal said, grabbing Evie’s hand and squeezing gently. Evie rushed out of the room. 

Mal stroked Ben’s hair. He laid on the bed and cried golden tears. “It’ll be okay,” Mal said. “No one is going to spell you. I’m right here.”

“Mal?” Ben asked, shifting closer to her. He curled up in a ball and relaxed just slightly. “You’re...Mal?” He struggled with the words. 

“Yes,” Mal let out a single sob before getting control of herself again. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Ben was already unconscious. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to my subscribers for this story. I saw there’s a few of ya in my statistics tab and it makes my heart so happy to know every time I sit down and bang out another thousand words or so y’all are getting emailed about it. Thanks for the support and I love you all :)

The decision had been made to avoid spelling Ben to try and cure him, but what with 1) their society in chaos after Uma took power, 2) continuing chaos after Uma sequestered away in her castle refusing visitors, and 3) the loss of Ben’s leadership, there weren’t exactly a lot of unavailable therapists lined up ready to help out. 

After the incident where Mal had tried to spell Ben, there was only slow progress in Ben’s recovery, and many setbacks. 

Ben wore a sweater for an entire day, even in the sunlight outside, even in the warmth of the castle, before they figured out his temperature had dropped low enough to make him pass out. They discovered that this had occurred when Ben passed out, and because it felt weird to check his temperature every morning when hegot up, the Core Four worked on casually touching Ben’s face or arms more frequently to check on him. 

Ben didn’t eat for a whole day and nobody noticed until his stomach growled while they were watching TV on the couch together. Mal whipped up a healthy snack and Ben was coaxed to eat it, but the problems didn’t end there. 

Ben got lost in the forest regularly, even on the well-established paths. He was never hard to find, as he couldn’t get far, but it kept happening. Ben started flinching at tapping sounds, which didn’t take long to notice after Jay fidgeted at dinner one night. Ben went hours at a time convinced he was still being held captive by Uma, and he wouldn’t recognize who Mal or anyone else was when they tried to talk to him. Ben insisted that Uma had never tortured him, but Mal kept seeing old cuts and scrapes on him if his shirt lifted up or his pant leg hiked up slightly. Ben forgot who Mal was and called her “Uma” more than once. Ben was much clumsier than he’d ever been before, and frequently hurt himself falling over or into something. 

The worst of it, though, was that Ben didn’t seem to see any of these things as a problem, if he noticed them at all. It took days of careful observation by Mal or Carlos to notice something was happening, and even if it was causing Ben pain, he didn’t want to talk about it and never brought it up. 

“Are you worried we’re going to punish you if you tell us how you’re feeling?” Mal had asked one day. 

“Are you?” Ben looked panicked. “Are you going to get mad at me if I don’t tell you?”

“No we won’t,” Evie said, soothingly. “We care about you, we just want to fix the things that are hurting you.”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Ben insisted, before fainting. That day he hadn’t had any water, and had become dehydrated. It was a constant struggle keeping up with his needs. 

There were good moments, though. Usually, every night the Core Four and Ben would eat dinner together and go into the living room for a game or a movie. Carlos and Jay kept up their fencing practice, Evie worked on her developing dress-making business, and Mal took some much-needed time to relax and hang out with Ben. Ben had good days, where there was less gold in his eyes and was better at articulating what was going on with him. 

One day, Ben looked sadly into Mal’s eyes and kissed her, slowly and gently. Mal kissed back, touching his hair and holding him. 

“What was that for?” Mal asked. 

“I wanted to kiss you,” Ben said sadly, “and that’s going to be our last one for a while.”

“Why? Are you okay?” Mal asked. 

“No, I haven’t been okay since Uma first spelled me,” Ben sighed. “Right now, I feel like all the other times we’ve kissed since then have been while I was too spelled-out to enjoy it.”

“I’m...I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” Mal said. 

“I didn’t tell you,” Ben said. “I’m telling you now. Please. I’ll tell you when I want to, but...don’t reach for me like you’re expecting it, I don’t want to feel like I have to kiss you while I’m under the weather like that.”

“Of course,” Mal said, reaching for him. She pulled her hand away. “While I have you, what touches are okay and what aren’t?”

Ben thought for a moment. “Hair is good, neck is bad. Hands and shoulders are good, back is bad, lower back is worse. You know that thing you do where you rub your thumb on my wrist? That’s really good.”

“Noted,” Mal said, and she almost felt the urge to laugh. They were settling into something that wasn’t like their old normal, but wasn’t like the first few days after they’d rescued him. 

“What is it?” Ben asked. “You looked happy for a second.”

“I like it when you can tell me what bothering you,” Mal said. “I like it even better when I can make it right.” She leaned her head on his shoulder (a “good” zone) and closed her eyes. 

“I like it too,” Ben said, and they just sat with each other and talked for hours. 

The next day, Ben couldn’t stay awake for longer than 30 minutes at a time. He spent most of the day in his bedroom, snoring. Mal collected herself, brought him food when he was awake, and busied herself with helping Evie. They were going to make it through this, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. 


	12. Chapter 12

“I’m a little nervous,” Ben admitted. 

“Aw, don’t be,” Mal smiled, playfully punching his shoulder. “All you have to do is sit there and look beautiful. No problem there.”

Ben laughed. “I remember when I said that to you—it was right before you handed me the anti-love potion before my coronation.”

“You really messed with me for a while there,” Mal laughed too. “You scared me so bad!”

“Gotta have fun somehow, right?” Ben smiled. He took off his shirt, so he was now standing in his “shorts with the little crowns on them” as Mal had requested. “Where do you want me to sit?”

“Over here, where I set up these pillows,” Mal gestured to a low couch draped with blankets and a conspicuous pillow pile. 

“Is there any way you want me to pose?” Ben asked. 

“However you can get comfortable, I’ll draw you,” Mal giggled, helping Ben onto the couch. They settled him in a relaxed pose with a blanket draped over his feet (they’re so hard to draw! Mal had complained) and his upper body leaning back against the pillows. 

“How’s this?” Ben asked. 

“Perfect,” Mal said, holding out her thumb to assess his position. She’d set up an easel across from the couch, and Ben had volunteered to sit still for a drawing. 

“Reminds me of when I had to sit for all those royal portraits,” Ben said. 

“Yeah?” Mal sketched a rough outline of his shape. “I hope those royal painters weren’t painting you half naked.”

Ben laughed and let his head tilt sideways. 

“Don’t move!” Mal laughed too. “Should I readjust the pillows so it’s easier for you to sit up?”

“I got it,” Ben said, reaching behind him and fluffing a pink decorative pillow so it supported his neck. 

Mal worked on the sketch for a while, giving herself and Ben some breaks every hour or so. He would stretch out, make a joke about the charcoal smudging her nose, and they would laugh. It was nice. 

“I need you not to talk for a little while as I draw your face,” Mal said as she got towards the end of the drawing. 

“Okay,” Ben said, and shut his mouth. He kept very still, smiling as Mal traced the shape of his nose and lips. She came to his eyes, which were open and staring dramatically into the middle distance. She chuckled for a moment at Ben’s over-the-top posing, before she noticed that his eyes were glowing gold. She put down all of her supplies and moved to the couch. 

“Ben? Ben? You can talk now, I’m done,” Mal said, touching him lightly on the shoulder, but Ben didn’t move or blink. His smile was frozen and fixed, and the only motion Mal could see was the golden tendrils behind his eyes and the soft pattern of his breathing. “Ben? Can you move at all?” There was no response. “Oh, no, no... it was going so well...” Mal blinked back tears and took a breath. 

Ben didn’t like to be touched when he got like this, and he was fairly supported by the pillows, so she didn’t have to move him at all. He’d just had a break 20 minutes ago so he was probably comfortable...for now.

“I’m not exactly going to keep painting when you’re like this,” Mal said, forcing a smile. “I don’t know if you can hear me...I’m going to read to you a little, okay?” She stood up and scanned the room for a book, anything someone had left lying around. “Ben, it occurred to me you probably can’t see me while I’m out of your line of sight, and you can’t move your eyes, but I’m still here, I’m just looking for something to read to you,” Mal said. There wasn’t anything present. She sighed and sat down on a couch across from Ben. 

“I could try telling you a story I made up, but I was never any good at that,” Mal sighed. She felt something stirring in her heart—a song. She smiled. Ben loved singing, and she knew even if she made a mistake or sounded funny he wouldn’t mind. So she sang. 

“Oh I have a lot to say

I was thinking on my time away

I miss you and things weren't the same

Cause everything inside, it never comes out right

And when I see you cry—

Wait.” Mal stopped. “Not what I want to be singing right now, I think. Maybe something happier?” She closed her eyes and thought for a moment. 

“Be...our...guest, be our guest, put our service to the test,” Mal sang, more cheerfully this time. She felt embarrassed for a moment, but it wasn’t like she had to worry about anyone seeing her. So she stood up and danced around the room a little bit, perhaps adding a few percussive beats that hadn’t previously existed in the song. By the time she finished, Ben still hadn’t changed, so she sang it again. Before she even got to the line about the grey stuff, she heard a soft rustling as Ben came to and shifted his position on the couch. 

“Ben!” She rushed to his side. “How are you feeling?”

“Foggy,” Ben said, putting his hand up to his forehead. “What happened?”

“You just froze, I didn’t know what to do!” Mal said, trying not to sound worried. “Are you okay?”

Ben flexed his fingers in front of him, then stretched his arms over his head. “I’m a little stiff. I feel like I got hit with another dose of your Mother’s freezing spell.”

“I’m so sorry, do you think it was my fault? Do you need anything, I can get you water—“

“It’s fine, Mal,” Ben smiled, and it came out genuine. He took her hands in his own. “That wasn’t any worse than any of my other symptoms, right?”

“I...guess not,” Mal hesitated. 

“I didn’t even know you remembered all the words to that,” Ben laughed. “I wish I could have seen more of the dance.”

Mal flushed bright red. “I’m better at dancing in groups when there’s more people around, it’s easier for me to work off of what others are doing than to make up my own steps.”

“I think it was great,” Ben smiled, stretching. “Thanks...for not trying to move me or anything.”

“Yeah,” Mal nodded, relieved.

“I bet I made for a good model, ha ha.”

“Don’t even say that!” Mal gasped. 

“What do you mean? I just meant that these shorts and this haircut probably gave you a fun time win your drawing. Can I see it?”

“Oh, sure,” Mal said, and she brought him over to her easel. 

“You make me look beautiful,” Ben gasped, running his hand over the edge of the canvas. “How is it you make me look like a king while I’m looking like this?” He pointed at his frankly ridiculous shorts. 

Mal hugged him and he hugged her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mal started singing “Sorry” by Buckcherry (link below)
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A4LyILAR9FI
> 
> Notable lyrics:   
Every single day  
I think about how we came all this way  
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried  
It's never too late to make it right  
Oh yeah, sorry!  
I'm sorry I'm bad  
I'm sorry I'm blue  
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss  
I love all your sounds  
Baby the way you make my world go round  
And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry  
I'm sorry baby


	13. Chapter 13

Everyone was having dinner together. It was Carlos’s night to cook, so they were eating some kind of pasta dish, as they usually did when it was Carlos’s turn to cook. 

“I guess I should ask if there’s any word from my parents,” Ben said, looking sheepish. 

“Um,” Mal said, looking at the huge pile of unread mail on the counter. 

“Not yet,” Evie said, briskly. “We’ve told them you’re here and that you’re safe, but every time we send or receive a letter, it’s a risk someone will find out where we are and try to capture Ben again. No offense, Ben.”

“None taken,” Ben said, rubbing at his neck. “My bad.”

“It’s not you, man,” Jay said, through a mouthful of food. “What, we’re gonna say you deserved it because of what you were wearing?”

“Yeah,” Carlos laughed. “That would make us look like assholes.”

“Ha,” Ben said, forcing a smile. “Yeah. But you know. None of you has ever been kidnapped—“

“Are any of us high profile royalty? Except for Mal, who can turn into a literal dragon,” Carlos pointed out. Everyone laughed. 

“Do you ever think about what we could have done with you as the queen, Mal?” Evie asked. 

“Yeah,” Mal sighed. “Who even knows where the authority is right now? I think Uma’s still technically Auradon’s legal ruler.”

“Not me?” Ben smiled jokingly. 

“You technically renounced your rule when you escaped Uma,” Carlos winced. 

“Seriously?” Jay choked on his food. 

“From a legal standpoint, Uma and Ben were ruling together, and when he left her castle he left her in charge,” Mal said, picking at her food sadly. 

“Well that sucks,” Jay said. 

“Yeah.” There was agreement around the table. 

“Imagine what you could’ve done, Mal,” Evie said, lighting up. “You could have started that program we were always talking about to bring more children off of the Isle.”

“It would have been nice,” Mal said, wistfully. “Sometimes I wish the whole barrier would just come down and Dizzy and everyone could come over here.”

“There’s no government anymore, what’s stopping them?” Carlos asked. 

“The magical barrier,” Evie said. “Uma’s crew couldn’t figure out how to take it down themselves and the fairy godmother would never agree to it now.”

“I guess you’re right,” Carlos said. 

“Who cares about the government? There’s fruit here,” Jay said, grabbing an orange from the bowl on the table and starting to peel it. “And chocolate, and—“

“Ben?” Mal asked. Everyone turned. Ben was white as a sheet, golden eyes wide and staring down at the table in front of him. He hadn’t said anything in a little while. “Are you okay?”

Ben looked up, startled. “Yes,” he said, far too quickly. “I’m not hungry.” He stood and bolted down the hallway away from the group. 

“Should...we go after him?” Jay asked. 

“I don’t know,” Mal said. “Maybe he just needs some time to cool off?” She has no way of knowing that their innocent dinner conversation was about to spark a harrowing several days ahead. 

Everyone finished eating, only a little more subdued at the loss of Ben. He’d usually turned out fine an hour or so after he had any issues, and he hated when they fussed over him. They dispersed to their own evening activities, but Evie decided to check on Ben first. She opened his door a crack and peeked in, but she didn’t see him. She figured he must be out in the garden or something. 

He wasn’t in the garden, either. Evie crinkled her nose and thought. She went around the castle, poking into the usually hiding spots. Ben was nowhere to be found. 

“Mal?” Evie burst into Mal’s room, where she was listening to music on her headphones. 

“What?” Mal asked, taking off one of the ears. 

“Ben’s gone,” Evie said. 

“What?” Mal threw off the headphones and stood up. “What happened?”

“I looked everywhere but I couldn’t find him,” Evie said, wringing her hands. “He’s not in his room.”

Mal strode across the hall and opened Ben’s door. She turned on the light. He wasn’t there. “What do we do?!?” She turned back to Evie, on the verge of panic, when she heard a soft whimpering sound. She looked back at the room. There was no one on the bed, the closet was open and there was nobody there. She heard the sound again. She crouched down and looked under the bed. Ben was hidden beneath it, golden eyes wide with fear. 

“Ben?” Mal whispered. 

“Stay...stay back!” Ben gasped, backing further away into the shadows under the bed. “Go away! I’m fine.”

“You’re under the bed,” Evie said, crouching to look at him too. 

Ben shrank away. “Please. Please, please, please, please just go away, please...”

Mal and Evie stood up. “We’re going to leave you alone, okay?” Mal said, trying to sound calm. “I’m just down the hall if you need me, you know where I am, right?”

There was no response. Mal and Evie left Ben’s room and closed the door. 

“What do we do now?” Evie whispered. 

“See if he’s feeling any better in the morning?” Mal shrugged. “We’ve seen worse. He’ll be okay, and we’re right here if he needs anything.”

“Yeah,” Evie said, looking back at the door. “I guess we have seen worse.” She was mistaken. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you thought I was done with the sad headcanons, bet you thought it was finally time to tag this fic hurt AND comfort. Oops my hand slipped and wrote this chapter

Ben came to breakfast calm and lucid, not bumping into anything or slurring any words. The only indication that anything had happened last night was a wary expression and an unusual lack of his singing. Mal thought nothing of it, until Ben was silent through all of breakfast, just glaring at everyone angrily. 

“Is something wrong?” Evie finally asked. 

“No, everything is fine,” Ben said, brightly. “It’s just that you can all drop the act. I know when I’ve been spelled. So you can undo whatever fresh illusion this is, because I’m not going to take it anymore. I’m sure it’s been REALLY convenient having something to do with me other than watch me hurt myself, but I’ve broken this spell too, so you can either dose me again or drop. The. Act.”

“What?” Mal froze. 

“I’m serious, Uma!” Ben said, rounding on Mal and staring at her with his big, angry, golden eyes. “Really funny, convincing me you were Mal. You can stop now.”

“Ben—“ Evie moved closer to touch his shoulder. 

“Don’t you DARE, Harry,” Ben said, pulling away angrily. “Touch me with your hook again and I’ll break something. Giving me THESE wasn’t good enough for you—“ Ben lifted his shirt to reveal several long scratches arcing down his back, “—you’re going to torture me like this? You’re better than that.”

Ben pointed at Carlos. “Seriously, Gil? I thought you were different. Why are you playing along with this?” He turned to face Jay. “I don’t know who you are, but when Mal comes for me, she’ll mess YOU up too.”

“Ben, you’re not spelled, this is real—“ Mal started. 

Ben stepped away from her and started pacing the room. “Of course I’m spelled! I figured it out, I figured everything out! That’s why my eyes are the wrong color!”

Evie stood up and held out her hands. “Ben, it’s okay, we’re going to get through this—“

“Stay back!” Ben said, eyes going wide. He searched around himself for a moment before grabbing a knife off the table. He pointed it at Evie, golden eyes full of fear. “Don’t you touch me! I swear I’ll—“

“Stop!” Mal said, holding out her hands. “We can take you to the enchanted lake, you can go swimming, will that help?”

Ben thought for a moment. “Watch it turn out to be a bathtub,” he chuckled darkly. “Nice trick. Stay back, I’m warning you.”

“If I were really Harry, I could take that knife away from you so you couldn’t do any damage with it,” Evie said, calmly. She held up her hands in surrender. “I’m not, so I can’t do that. You are holding a knife, Ben, and there are some vulnerable people here. Your friends.”

Ben looked around wildly. “You’re not my friends! And it probably doesn’t even matter to you if you get hurt, Uma can’t be hurt...” he stopped talking and stared into the distance. His face lit up and Mal could see what he was going to do before he did it. 

“Ben, please—“

Ben held the knife to his own throat. “Turn off the spell or I’ll do it. Then you won’t have any bargaining power with Mal, and you won’t be the Queen if I’m dead. Turn off the spell!” Ben screamed, sinking to his knees. The knife didn’t waver next to his neck. 

“Ben, I can’t, it’s not a spell—“ Mal steppes closer. 

Ben held out his hand to keep her back and pushed the knife closer to his skin. “I’m going to count to three.”

“Ben, don’t—“ Evie.

“One.”

“Ben, listen to me, I’m—“

“Two.”

“I’m really Mal, I’m not Uma, I—“

“Thr—“ Ben was fortunately caught off guard by Jay, who’d snuck up behind him. Jay disarmed Ben and threw the knife away from him, grabbing Ben to hold him in place. 

“Let me go!” Ben struggled. “At least break this spell. Let me look at the real you! I’ll hurt myself, I’ll really do it!”

“What are we going to do?” Evie whispered. 

“I don’t know,” Mal said, hand tight over her chest. She wanted to push aside everything she was feeling and come up with a solution, but nothing was coming to her. “The only suggestion I have is a bad one.”

“What is it?” Evie asked. 

“He was tied up when I found him. Do you think—“

“He’s already tried this?” Evie finished. She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Let me GO,” Ben yelped, throwing his head back against Jay, trying to break loose. 

“Uh, guys, we need a solution soon,” Jay grimaced, holding Ben in place. 

“Well, you were right, tying him up WAS a bad idea,” Evie said. She put her hand on her chin and tried to think. 

“I’ve got an idea,” Carlos piped up. “It’s not a great idea, but it’s usable. Maybe.”

“Let’s hear it,” Mal said, gesturing for him to go ahead. 

Carlos looked at Ben, then furtively back at Mal, before crouching next to Ben. “Hey, Ben,” Carlos said, biting his lip nervously. “You were right. This is a spell. I’m Gil.”

“I knew it!” Ben hissed, relaxing slightly in Jay’s grip. “I knew it, I knew it—“

“Shhh,” Carlos said, softly. “Look. The spell has to wear off on its own, okay? But I’m gonna talk to Uma and get her to try something else.”

“Anything else,” Ben let out a sob, “please, anything else, I can be good, I promise—“

“Shhh,” Carlos rubbed his hand on Ben’s back. Mal and Evie stood back and watched, trying not to distract him. Ben’s eyes were locked on Carlos, not moving the slightest bit. 

“How are you going to talk to her?” Ben whispered. “No one can talk to her. She just does whatever she wants.”

“I...I’m going to tell her...that...” Carlos floundered for a moment. 

“Tell her I’ll talk to fairy godmother, I’ll talk to Mal, I’ll talk to anyone she wants, but they’ll know if I’m spelled, so she has to take it off of me, she has to take it off, I can’t...” Ben was getting more frantic. “I can’t take it anymore, I’d rather be back on your ship getting told by Harry exactly how he’s going to slice me up when Mal doesn’t come for me, I’d rather BE sliced up, I just...I can’t...” Ben started to cry, but he was exhausted. He slumped in Jay’s grip. 

“The spell won’t break immediately,” Carlos said again. “We have to wait for it to wear off. But now you know what’s going on! Isn’t that good? You figured out what’s happening!”

“Yeah, I’m...I figured it out,” Ben said, sniffing. “I figured it out. You can’t trick me like that anymore.”

“Yes,” Carlos said, soothingly. “You figured it out, so it can’t hurt you anymore. Do you promise not to hurt yourself until it wears off?”

Ben looked up suspiciously. “That’s just what you want, isn’t it,” he glared. 

Carlos collected himself. “Yes, please. That is what I, Gil, want, not Uma. If you got hurt, that would be like you abdicating the throne, right, and then she’d still be in power, she’d have even more control, right?”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re right! As long as I’m still alive I have a chance of stopping her.”

“Sure you do,” Carlos said. “You already broke this spell, you can break out of anything.”

“I can!” Ben smiled happily, then frowned. “So what do I do now?”

“Wander around, wait for the spell to wear off?” Carlos shrugged. 

“I’ll just go back to my room,” Ben said, slumping. “Usually no one bothers me there. I don’t want to talk to any more illusions.”

“Okay,” Carlos said, helping him up. “I’ll get you back to your room.”

“Don’t be gone too long or Uma will get mad at you,” Ben admonished Carlos, letting himself be led out of the room by Jay and Carlos. 

“Don’t worry buddy, it’s going to be okay...” Carlos was saying, and his voice grew faint as they got further away. 

Mal sat on the floor and put her head in her hands. Evie sat next to her and hugged her. 

“It’ll pass, just like all the other symptoms,” Evie said, rubbing Mal’s back. “We’ll just give him some time. In a few hours, he could be totally fine.”

“We need to find a spell or a therapist or medication or SOMETHING,” Mal said, not lifting her head, “that alleviates the FUCKING symptoms. Maybe I can’t take this anymore. Seeing him like this...”

“I know,” Evie said, and she hugged Mal and Mal cried and they sat on the floor together, and Ben sat on his bed in his room willing the spell to break. His eyes flashed gold when he caught sight of himself in the mirror, so he broke it. His hand bled slightly from the broken glass. He ignored the pain, and sat on his bed in his room, willing the spell to break. 


	15. Chapter 15

The Core Four agreed that Carlos should be the one to check on Ben until this latest episode had passed, so Carlos woke up bright and early and tiptoed into Ben’s room. 

Ben sat in a chair, with his arms behind his back, snoring, head slumped onto his shoulder.Carlos knocked on the ajar door, hoping the sound would wake Ben. It didn’t. So Carlos came further into the room. 

He walked around behind Ben, who held one wrist in his other hand behind his back in the chair, and was somehow sleeping in this position. It looked massively uncomfortable. 

“Ben,” Carlos whispered, gently poking Ben’s shoulder. “Ben, wake up. Ben.”

Ben jolted upright and screamed, losing his balance and tipping the chair over sideways. He fell on his left arm but he didn’t lose his grip or position at all. Carlos winced. “Sorry, sorry,” Carlos said, tilting the chair upright again. “It would be a little easier if you could help me.”

“Unite me and I’ll try, Gil,” Ben sighed. “What are you doing here? Uma usually checks on me in the mornings.”

Carlos double checked Ben’s arms. “Um, Ben. You’re not tied up.”

Ben struggled against the chair and his own grip on his wrist for a few seconds. “Then why won’t my arms move?” he asked. 

“You’re holding onto them,” Carlos said, appraising the situation. “Here, let me—“ he started uncurling Ben’s fingers from each other, revealing red marks where he was holding on, and Ben gasped in pain. “Are you all right?” Carlos asked. 

“Don’t pull on the ropes like that, you’re tightening them,” Ben choked out. 

“Here, I’m untying you,” Carlos said, moving his hands randomly over the back of the chair. Ben flexed his muscles slightly as Carlos did so. “Is that better?”

Ben struggled again. “No. It’s okay. I get it. Too dangerous to have me running around like this, right?”

“Um.” Carlos didn’t know how to respond to that. 

“I’ve been tied up since...” Ben concentrated. “I don’t know how long the spell was on me.” He closed his eyes and scrunched up his eyes, trying to remember. “I fell...you came out and looked at my head...I was singing...” he squinted his eyes tighter. “Uma dragged me back in here, and she was worried I’d hurt myself, so she tied me like this...Then it was dark...” he winced at a memory only he could see. Carlos sat next to him, wondering how to help. 

“Someone came in,” Ben said, opening his eyes. They were still golden. Carlos had half-hoped they would have been clear, but no such luck today. “Someone with purple hair came in, someone with soft hands...” he squinted his eyes shut again. “And then...nothing. I opened my eyes again and you were here, Gil.”

“You don’t remember yesterday?” Carlos asked. 

“Yesterday...I didn’t do much, I just wandered around in my pajamas, like I do every day,” Ben said. He looked confused. “Why?”

“You don’t remember the past few weeks? Being rescued by Mal, living here with us—“

“I’m sorry Gil, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ben said. “A Mal isn’t something that rescues you, it’s...it’s...” he couldn’t finish the sentence. 

“Oh,” Carlos said, starting to worry. He was going to walk out of here and wake Evie, she might know what to do. 

“I did have a good dream though,” Ben smiled, closing his eyes. “I was with my friends somewhere nice. There were a lot of windows and there was food and there weren’t any knives or pirates at all.” He still hadn’t moved from his position with his arms held tight behind his back, but he shifted slightly, uncomfortably. “My arms hurt,” he said. 

“I’m not surprised,” Carlos said. Ben had twisted himself uncomfortably into the chair. “Have you been like that all night?”

“I guess so?” Ben tried to shrug. It mostly worked. “The last thing I remember being awake, I was tied up. How long was I asleep?”

“Not long,” Carlos said, standing. “Uh, I’m gonna get someone to untie you.”

“Okay,” Ben said, shifting in his imagined restraints. “Gil? Why are you nice to me?”

“I don’t know. Because I like you?” Carlos hoped that was a good answer. 

Ben looked sad. “I guess Uma really doesn’t like me, then,” he said. He looked up. “How do I make her like me?”

“I’m gonna get someone for the ropes,” Carlos ducked out of the room. He went directly to Evie’s room and knocked on the door. “Uhh, Evie?” She was just waking up. 

“Yes, Carlos? Is something wrong?”

“I’m gonna need a little help with Ben,” Carlos wheezed. 


	16. Chapter 16

Carlos returned with Evie, and they found Ben exactly as Carlos had left him in the chair. He stared vacantly ahead of him, seeming to hear and see nothing that was around him. Occasionally he winced, or blinked his eyes rapidly. Other than that, he didn’t move, and he still held his hands right behind his back. 

Evie walked around Ben in a circle, and waved her hand in front of his face. He didn’t react, or even seem to notice she was there. 

“He was talking when I came in,” Carlos said. “But, um. He didn’t want to be moved. I mean—I tried getting him to move his arms, and it was like it was hurting him.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t move him, then,” Evie hummed, taking another look at Ben. She turned and faced Carlos. “Okay. We’ll take shifts. Somebody other than him is going to be in this room all day, and every hour or so we’ll try to wake him.”

“Okay,” Carlos said, looking nervous, “but if we can’t wake him, how do we get him to drink water and stuff?”

“Maybe we can’t today,” Evie said. She frowned nervously. “I don’t want to try giving him something he’ll choke on.” She leaned down directly in front of Ben. “Ben? Ben, if you can hear me, respond somehow. Move, or blink, or make a sound, something, if you can.”

Ben didn’t respond, he just stared vacantly past Evie’s face. 

“Carlos, you take the first watch,” Evie said, yawning. “I’ll be back in an hour. I’m going to wake Mal and Jay and explain what’s happening, we’ll each sit here in hour shifts. If he moves or needs help or anything, don’t hesitate to scream or get help or something, okay?”

Carlos nodded. He sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. Evie headed out to get Mal. 

“At least I won’t be able to fall asleep,” Carlos muttered. “It’s so bright in here.” Sunlight streamed through the open windows, tinged green from the forest canopy. Carlos could hear a bird singing outside. 

Ben sat in darkness. He hated how dark it was in this room, how there were no windows, because Uma didn’t want anyone to see him. A window was an easy escape route, she’d said, and even though she’d spelled him past his ability to think, she hadn’t moved him to another bedroom. This one was conveniently near her own, so she could keep an eye on him. She wasn’t even happy with keeping him under, she’d tied him to this chair, too. His arms hurt badly, but at least they were starting to go numb. He tried moving them slightly and winced at the rope cutting into his skin. 

“Evie!” Carlos screamed. “Mal! Come quick!” 

Mal and Evie burst into the room. “What’s wrong?” Mal said, panicked. Her eyes glowed green and she had a defensive spell ready to go in her hand. 

“Look,” Carlos whispered. They looked. Blood slowly dripped down Ben’s wrists onto the floor. It wasn’t coming from where he was grabbing onto himself, it was from the upper wrist, where there was no marking or anything at all to suggest an injury. Yet blood was steadily dripping. 

“It’s magic,” Mal said darkly. 

“Then...bandaids and lavender won’t help,” Evie said. “Mal...we might have to try spelling him.” 

Mal whipped her head around. 

“Just a little bit,” Evie said, carefully. “That spell you tried to break the effects Uma is still having on him.”

“I don’t...we can’t just—“

“If he starts bleeding more, we need to have a plan in place,” Evie said firmly. “You work on finding a spell that will do the least damage. I’ll see if there’s anything in my books about healing from magical injuries, and we’ll send Jay out for Jane, and fairy godmother if he can find her.”

“But I—“ Mal started. 

“You are going to find a spell that you would be comfortable using on Ben to make him stop bleeding,” Evie said firmly. “I hope we won’t have to use it. Carlos, are you good to stay here?”

Carlos nodded. 

“Good,” Evie said. “Break.” They dispersed. 

Ben grimaced and shifted in the ropes. He guessed it was smart for Uma to leave him like this, in a room with no windows, because he HAD broken the spell. He knew exactly where he was, not in some fantasy world where he was safe with his friends and Mal. There had to be a way out of this. He couldn’t see through the dark to find a knife or candle or anything he could use to cut the ropes, but his eyes would adjust soon enough. That is, if he could find anything before Uma came back. Ben shuddered. 

Ben sat in the darkness alone and contemplated his situation. He hoped his eyes were still golden—he might have a chance at pulling off a trick. If Uma came in and Ben pretended to be so spelled out, so close-to-unconscious that he couldn’t even remember who Mal was, she might untie him and let him loose, at least so one of the pirates could look him over and see if he needed medical attention. He wondered if it would be more effective to knock over the chair, so he got some more injuries. He wondered if it would be hard to do that, and rocked back and forth in the chair slightly to see. It would take some work, but he could do it. 

But he’d promised Gil he’d stop trying to hurt himself. That was only until the spell broke, Ben reminded himself, and clearly, it was broken. Mal and the rest of their fancy, safe castle was nowhere in sight, just this dark room and Uma’s castle where Ben had been trapped for...he didn’t know how long. Several weeks, at least. Maybe no time at all had passed while he was out, or maybe it had been a whole year. 

If he’d been spelled for a year...he shook his head, nervously. That sort of damage could really mess someone up, permanently. Uma wouldn’t...but he’d learned that she would. She was capable of a lot more than he’d suspected. 

He cast his eyes desperately about, looking for a distraction, but it was still too dark for him to see anything. “Gil!” He whispered. “Are you still there?”

Carlos jumped upright. “Ben? I’m right here, it’s Carlos, it’s Gil, can you hear me?” Ben was TALKING, just quiet murmuring, but he was talking. “Ben?”

Ben shook his head. There hadn’t been any response—Gil must have left. He let his head rest back behind him, tilted back over nothing the way he was positioned in the chair. 

Nothing for it but to wait, and either Uma would come in and Ben could act helpless, or his eyes would adjust and he could look for something to cut himself free. He could speed up one of those things. He could call for help—no, no one would come, they didn’t put guards on his room because he was so weak, and he wasn’t sure anyone would care. He could call out as if Mal was with him, send everyone into a panic—he winced, imagining the beating he would get for trying that. So that left patiently waiting, or turning over this chair, producing a loud thump sound, hopefully injuring himself and summoning someone to see what was happening. But did he really want to hurt himself? He’d promised Gil he wouldn’t, but that was only until he broke the spell, which he HAD broken, so Gil would understand. Wouldn’t he?

He wondered how many times he could get knocked in the head before that started to do as much damage as the spells had. 

“I swear, he was talking, but he couldn’t hear me,” Carlos said. Mal stood next to him, looking down at Ben and biting her lip. 

“I’ll just look through the spell books in here with you,” Mal said. 

“Yeah,” Carlos said, hugging her. “That’s fine. I’m here for you, okay?”

“Thank you,” Mal said, hugging back. They sat on the floor to watch Ben and wait to see what happened.


	17. Chapter 17

Ben couldn’t remember falling asleep, but he jolted awake when a hand came down hard on his shoulder. He groaned as the pressure restored enough feeling to his right arm for him to remember how much pain he was in. He doubled over—that is, he would have if he hadn’t been tied so securely. He mostly stayed in place, but his head drooped forward pathetically. 

“Looks like the spell wore off again,” Uma snarled from above him. Ben groaned, and let himself make whimpering noises. No good trying to remain dignified if he was going to try to convince Uma he was still spelled. Uma removed her hand from Ben’s shoulder and grabbed at his matted hair, pulling it back so his neck was uncomfortably exposed. Ben focused on keeping his eyes listless and unfocused, even as Uma moved his face about with the precision of a doctor performing a dissection. 

“I must have been wrong,” she laughed, letting him go and stepping in front of him. Ben let his head drop where she left it. His blood mixed with his drool and dripped out of his mouth. “I guess they were right about what keeping you under was doing to you, but nothing we can do about that now.”

Ben’s heart beat faster. He couldn’t look up at her, not yet—he tensed his arms and gurgled with the fresh painful sensation that brought on. 

“You really are destroyed, aren’t you?” Uma said, couching in front of him. She squinted at him, then lunged forward in an attempt to get him to flinch. 

Ben couldn’t tell if he’d moved or not. He hoped he hadn’t. He just kept staring at nothing, focusing on looking helpless. 

“I hope that time with your friends did you some good,” Uma laughed. “Imagine if I told you it wasn’t a spell.”

Ben resisted the urge to respond. She was just toying with him, trying to get him to prove he was faking it. If she’d just untie him...and left him to rub his arms back into feeling again...he might have a chance. If he could just get free—

“Imagine,” Uma said, slowly walking in a circle out of Ben’s line of sight, “If I told you that they really got you out of here, that they really rescued you. Only they should have been more careful with you,” Uma leaned close to whisper in Ben’s ear. “There’s a reason I keep you where there aren’t any windows, pet.”

Ben groaned and shifted as an excuse to pull away from her. He decided to go for it, and said “Uma? Where’s...” he crunched his nose up in pretend concentration before letting himself slump again. 

“Mal lost you,” Uma cooed, standing back up. She moved out of Ben’s sight, and there were sounds as she moved stuff around on one of the tables. “She couldn’t keep you safe from me, not for long. Too much care about how to treat you properly to protect you, keep you safe. Imagine if I told you that she rescued you, only to lose you again after you wandered just a little bit too far into the forest...right back into my arms.” There was the sound of metal dragging on metal. “But that doesn’t matter now. You’re back, and we’ve made precautions—she won’t be taking you again.”

Ben licked his lips but stayed quiet. 

Uma was suddenly behind him, holding a knife to his throat. Against his will, Ben flinched away. 

“Aha!” Uma laughed. “I knew it! You little fake!”

“Let me go,” Ben said, meeting her eyes. She stared him down. He wavered. “Untie me, and I’ll stay, I promise. You can lock the door and I wouldn’t be able to leave. I can’t feel my arms—“

“That’s the idea,” Uma said, smiling. She played with the dagger, tossing it from hand to hand as she moved around Ben like a serpent. “Don’t want you getting any ideas.”

“Uma, I don’t care what you want. Let me talk to the fairy godmother, I can make it happen. Let me talk to Mal, I’ll convince her to leave you alone. You don’t have to keep me spelled, you don’t even have to keep me tied up—“

“You think I haven’t heard all these arguments before?” Uma was definitely amused. “I guess you wouldn’t remember, with that scrambled egg for brains you have now.”

“I...I broke your spell, I know you tricked me into thinking I was free—“

“Oh, but I didn’t,” Uma said, holding up her hands, the picture of innocence. “Mal really did get you out.”

“Then what—“

“You’re back here because you can’t take it out there anymore,” Uma said, coming closer. She put her hand on Ben’s forehead. “Ooh. You’re burning up. Hope none of those cuts I gave you got infected.” She grinned. 

“I was never out,” Ben said, angrily. “You only tricked me into thinking I was!”

“Would that be the worst thing I’ve ever done to you?” Uma asked, dragging the flat side of the blade over Ben’s face. He kept still, falling silent. “Ben, you did it. For a brief, shining moment, you broke out of here, and you broke the spell.” She held up her shell necklace and fiddled with it. “Shame both of those things are over now.”

“Don’t,” Ben winced, trying to pull away. He was stuck fast to the chair. “Uma—“

“You’re welcome to beg,” Uma said, cutting him off. “It’s funny, and it only gets funnier as you get more desperate.” Ben fell silent again, turning his face away. “Aww, don’t be like that,” Uma said, turning him back to face her with the tip of the knife. “Tell you what. I’ll give you some time alone, no spell, a little rest, okay?”

“Why would you do that?” Ben spat. 

“You’re going to need rest to recover from your injuries, silly,” Uma said, and she slowly pushed the tip of the dagger into Ben’s cheek, dragging a long thin line down the side of his face. Ben could control all of his reactions but his eyes. There was no whimper of pain or flinching of his muscles, just a tight drawn expression in his golden eyes. Uma laughed and wiped the dagger off on her pants. “Maybe you need a few more injuries, a few more reminders of where you are,” she said. “Wouldn’t want you to get too restful, now.”


	18. Chapter 18

“What do you mean I can’t take it outside of this place anymore?” Ben asked. “What do mean, you think I can’t take it out there?”

“Why else would you be back here?” Uma gestured grandly, encompassing her castle, the windowless room, the torture. “I’m not going to apologize for it, but I broke you. You can’t handle life on the outside anymore. Too many decisions, too many possibilities, too many people asking you what you want...” 

“That’s not true,” Ben said.

“Maybe if you say it louder you’ll convince yourself,” Uma said, looking him up and down disdainfully. “I bet you want things to be like this, I bet you like that you can’t make decisions about where to go or what to do while you’re tied up like this. I bet,” and she leaned closer, forcing him to make eye contact with her, “I bet even if I hadn’t dragged you back here, you would have managed to work yourself into some kind of coma and imagine yourself here anyway. Now wouldn’t THAT be funny,” she mused, putting away her dagger. 

Ben didn’t want to listen to her. He didn’t want to think about what she was saying. He didn’t want to wonder if it was true or not, and he certainly didn’t want to find out. For a brief moment, he felt a surge of relief at the feeling of being tied up—that sensation was real, he knew it was—but the relief was followed by a wave of shame and guilt, as it was only more evidence that Uma was speaking the truth. Maybe Ben really COULDN’T handle life outside of Uma’s control, maybe he’d never be able to go back to normal for Mal, maybe she’d never find him again and he’d never have the chance to try and improve for her. 

“Wanna know how I know Mal won’t find you?” Uma’s glare was a sadistic smile. “Want to know if I killed her? Want to know if I made it last, just to enjoy it more?”

Ben shook his head “no.” He couldn’t even form the word. He looked up at Uma, silently begging. 

“All right, I’ll let you guess,” Uma said, laughing. “You think it over. I’ll be back to scramble your brains again later, so enjoy ‘em while you have ‘em.” She opened the door to the hallway and the light blinded Ben for just a moment as she stepped out, then the door closed again and he was trapped in darkness even more complete than before. He didn’t cry. He couldn’t. He had to think. 

He needed proof that she was wrong, something to hold onto...something from his memories back at Mal’s castle, while he’d been safe? No, those memories felt like dreams, and he was suspicious that they could have all been manufactured by one of Uma’s spells anyway. And he’d never gotten the hang of the whole “recovery” thing anyway. But he didn’t have anything else to draw on—he’d never succeeded in fighting Uma’s spells before Mal had saved him, he’d just...wandered around in a fog, begging to do Uma’s bidding, wondering why Harry and Gil looked at him so sadly. 

And he thought all of these things, and he still couldn’t move his arms. They hurt. 

He felt a vague memory tugging at him. In the memory, he was back at Mal’s place. Over a meal, he heard her saying something about freeing the rest of the children on the isle. That goal was linked to Uma, and it messed him up. He remembered hiding under his bed, pointing a knife at Evie, convinced that they were Uma’s gang in disguise. Carlos, taking him back to his room...Ben holding his arms behind his back, insisting that he was tied up, even though in the memory Ben could tell that he wasn’t...people watching him, trying to keep him from hurting himself...and then crashing sounds, and Uma and her gang busting through the large sunlit windows of the bedroom, a sharp pain in the side of Ben’s head...and then he woke up here. He blinked his eyes at the memory. Had that really happened? Or was he still back at Mal’s place, trapped in his own thoughts?

He tugged on the ropes holding him in place. They felt real enough, but Ben had fooled himself before. He felt blood drip down the side of his face, where Uma had cut him, and there was a sticky wetness behind his wrists too, where the ropes had dug in too deep. He could only hope that if he was unconscious at Mal’s place, they wouldn’t let him bleed so much. But he could be imagining the blood too. Ben grappled with his thoughts and lost track of time—not that he had a watch or daylight to help him know how long he was alone. He didn’t even know if it was day outside, that was how lost he was. 

He sometimes heard footsteps outside the door, or voices. No one came to visit him, not even Gil, no one even came to torture him. What would be the point of that, Ben mused, if there wasn’t anything they wanted from him? What would be the point, other than amusing themselves (he winced to feel the cut on his face Uma had made bleed a little bit more), and perhaps they’d found another, more interesting toy. 

Maybe they’d captured Mal, or Evie, or Carlos or Jay, when they’d gotten Ben back. He had no way to know, but he had to find out. He had to get free, find them. He struggled with the ropes until he passed out from exhaustion. 

He woke up groggy and sore, to find himself staring up at Uma. “Let’s try again with the spells,” she said. 

Something colorful and purple settled over Ben’s skin, icy cold. He shivered and squirmed beneath it, trying to get away. He would go down that easily again. He managed to shake it off of himself. 

“Are you ready?” Uma asked. 

“That...was nothing...” Ben panted, trying to catch his breath. 

“What are you talking about?” Uma leaned in, examining him. “I haven’t started.” She looked suspicious. 

“Like I’m...going to believe... anything you tell me,” Ben coughed. 

“Okay, okay,” Uma waved her hand. “Fine. We didn’t recapture you, but we did manage to reactivate the spell I had on you that Mal couldn’t break. You’re still back in their little safe house, and I’m sure they’re trying to wake you. Tell me what they’re doing.”

“Nothing?” Ben was confused.

“Tell me!” Uma screamed, slapping Ben across the face. The sensation of the purple magic floated away. Ben shook himself back to reality. 

“I’m not listening to you,” Ben said. “You might as well forget the mind games and go straight to spelling me.”

“All right, here’s what’s really going on—“ Uma started to say, but Ben braced against the floor and shoved the chair over backwards, landing on his arms (ow) and delivering a hard enough hit to the back of his head to knock him out—or so he’d hoped. He laid on the ground, still unfortunately awake, but at least the throbbing in his skull was drowning out whatever Uma was trying to say. He felt her kick him in the side, and then he really did pass out. 


	19. Chapter 19

Ben had no way of knowing if what he was experiencing was real or not, all he had was the evidence his senses were giving him, that he was tied up in a dark room at Uma’s mercy. 

The Core Four had no way of knowing what was happening to Ben, and it had been more than 24 hours since Carlos had found him acting as if he was tied up in his room. 

Jane had arrived, and the fairy godmother was on her way, Jane had said. There wasn’t anything they could do for Ben that didn’t involve magic, so Mal combed her spellbook looking for something that might work, and Jay quietly considered going back to the island for a magical item he’d once stolen. Evie, Jane, and Carlos took turns watching Ben, flipping him upright when he knocked over the chair, trying to keep the room cool, offering water that Ben couldn’t see and they worried he might choke on. 

“My mom’ll be here,” Jane said, looking over at Ben.

“I know,” Evie said. “We’re just so worried about him. And Mal—“

“I got it!” Mal burst into the room, excited. She looked down at where she’d placed her finger on the proper spell, and then back at Ben. “Do not hide, do not conceal, restore your sight to what is real,” she said, and a purple magic floated softly through the air. Ben breathed it in, and everyone else waited, anxious to see what would happen. Ben’s eyes were closed, but he shook his head and coughed a few times before going back to muttering. A fresh cut appeared on his shoulder, yet another injury he’d sustained while he was in this state. 

“Where are they coming from?” Jane said, moving to put a bandage over the spot. 

“I wish we knew,” Evie said. “Mal, are you okay?”

“Do not hide, do not conceal, restore your sight to what is real!” Mal said, louder this time. “It’s not strong enough,” she said, turning to Evie. “I’ll keep looking.”

“You can read your spellbook while you eat,” Evie said, leading Mal out of the room. “You can’t help him if you hurt yourself trying.”

Jane, Carlos, and Jay were alone with Ben. “Carlos,” Jay said. “I don’t want to leave while he’s like this, but do you remember—“

“—that magic amulet you stole?” Carlos nodded. “I was thinking about it too. “Think it would work?”

“Only one way to find out,” Jay shrugged. 

“What are you talking about?” Jane asked. 

“There was this amulet I saw back on this isle,” Jay said. “It was supposed to be for breaking curses.It doesn’t work over there, but if we brought it here—“

“Why not just bring Ben to the isle?” Jane asked. “Wouldn’t the spell just break? Evil magic doesn’t work over there.”

“It wouldn’t work—darn it, and the amulet won’t work for the same reason,” Jay grunted, hitting the wall with his fist. 

“Why not?” 

“Because,” Carlos looked away. “Um. We’re pretty sure Ben isn’t actually under a magic influence anymore, he’s just...recovering.”

“You said he was spelled a long time,” Jane said in a hushed voice. She looked over at Ben, who was slumped over as if passed out in the chair. “You don’t think...he could be like this permanently?”

“We don’t know,” Jay said, smacking the wall again. 

“Maybe my mom will be able to do something,” Jane whispered, sitting down on the ground. 

“I just wish there was something we could do,” Mal said, pounding the table with her fist.

“I know. Me too,” Evie said. 

“I just feel so helpless, so useless,” Mal grumbled, taking another sip of her lemonade. 

“You’ve got to keep up your strength, you should finish eating,” Evie said. 

“It’s just, I haven’t seen him smile, he hasn’t spoken to anyone, we haven’t even heard him sing in days,” Mal said, putting a spoonfulof macaroni and cheese in her mouth. 

“I know,” Evie sighed. “It’s awful.”

“Wait.” Mal sat up. “We haven’t heard him sing in days. Has he been singing when Carlos was watching him?”

“No,” Evie said, confused. “Why do you look so excited?”

“I have an idea, and it doesn’t involve spelling him,” Mal said. She smiled, tightly. “I don’t want to get my hopes up...but it’s better than nothing.”

She stood up and Evie followed her into Ben’s room. “Everyone, I have an idea,” Mal said, authoritatively.

“What is it?” Carlos asked. 

“I need you all to go like this,” Mal said. She stomped on the ground twice, then waited three counts, and stomped again. 

STOMP STOMP, two... three...four... STOMP STOMP two...three...four...

Everyone watched for a movement before picking up the pattern. Mal shook out her shoulders and put her hair back out of her eyes. She closed her eyes and started to sing, and once the group picked it up, they joined in to harmonize. 

“Sometimes, I feel I’ve got to—“ 

STOMP STOMP

“—run away, I’ve got to—“

STOMP STOMP

“—get away from the pain you drive into, the heart of me; the love, we shared—“

“Oh, ohh oh,” Evie came in with backup vocals. 

“—seems to go nowhere, and I’ve lost, my light, for I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night!” Mal got into it, letting herself feel the rhythm in her feet. She danced in circles as the group hummed, she could almost hear the music as they stepped in unison. 

“Once I ran to you, now I run from you, this tainted love you’ve given! I give you all a boy could give you, take my tears and that’s not really ALL!” Mal sang. “Tainted love, ohhhh oh oh, tainted love...”

“Do you think this will work?” Jane whispered to Carlos. He shrugged and continued his part on backup vocals.

“We’ll find out,” he said. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for this chapter: graphic depiction of violence, stabbing, broken bones, etc

Ben wasn’t alone long before Uma came back. He bit back the retort he’d planned, something about if she was going to start stabbing him again, for fear that it would encourage her. 

“Did you miss me?” Uma smiled. 

Ben looked down at the floor, not answering. He hated her. But he couldn’t make her mad, aviva all else he couldn’t make her mad—

“Answer me,” Uma said, grabbing Ben’s chin in her hand and tipping it upwards so he was forced to look at her. 

“What do you want me to say?” Ben tried. 

“I guess I don’t know, maybe you could beg for your life?” Uma laughed and turned his face back and forth. 

“You’re not going to kill me, are you?” Ben asked. At this point it might almost be a relief. 

“Not intentionally, don’t get your hopes up.” Uma tapped her shell necklace lightly. “But it’s time we put you back on that spell. You’re too dangerous, awake like this.”

There was a faint tapping sound in the distance, two beats in quick succession, like a heart beat. Ben figured it was the sound of his heart starting to race. 

“You’re welcome to beg,” Uma said, looking away from him nonchalantly. “I will admit, it’s been fun having you back, and spelled-Ben is just so much less fun than the original.”

“Go for it,” Ben said, still looking at the floor. “Don’t make it worse by dragging it out.” He slumped, resigned. “Just do it.”

“Oh, but I like dragging it out,” Uma said. She walked around behind his chair. He heard the tapping again, more like a thump now. He wondered what the other pirates were doing, but all thought fled him mind as Uma poked him in the shoulder, hard. 

“OW,” Ben screamed, and a tear escaped his eye. His arms hurt so much, and he couldn’t move them in the slightest. They definitely weren’t getting any circulation. 

“Huh. If you lost a hand, Harry would certainly be jealous,” Uma said, doing something behind his back that he couldn’t see. There was a flicking sound of a knife opening. “We could hurry that process along before I spell you again.”

“Uma?” Ben was getting nervous. 

“Or maybe a broken bone or two, maybe your leg so you can’t run away again,” Uma mused, ignoring him. 

“Uma?” Ben was definitely more nervous. He wriggled in the chair, inching just a few centimeters away from her. 

“Stop that,” Uma said, grabbing the ropes and pulling Ben back towards her, despite the scream he let out at the pressure on his arms increased. He panted heavily as she stood up. “We could always try both, and see which one I like better for next time,” she continued. 

“Don’t...” Ben wheezed, unable roll catch his breath. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear that,” Uma smiled, leaning closer. The thumping came again, more of a stomping sound. 

“You don’t...have to do that...” Ben managed. He could barely focus from the pain in his arms, really all over him, he was so sore from being kept in this position in this chair. 

“I know I don’t have to,” Uma said, putting her hand on Ben’s forehead and brushing his hair back. The intimacy of the gesture was unbearable, but Ben couldn’t move away. “But I’d like to,” she whispered cruelly. The sound of the stomping came again. “Maybe I’ll start with breaking a finger and we’ll go from there, see how much you scream,” Uma said. 

“What...what is that?” Ben asked. 

“Maybe I’ll start with breaking a finger—“

“I heard you,” Ben said, listening. The stomping came again. “That stomping sound, those two beats. What is that?”

“Aww, hearing things already? Maybe breaking bones wouldn’t even be fun anymore, your brain is so damaged.”

Ben heard the stomping again. “That pattern...I recognize it...” he tried to concentrate. 

“Then again, maybe it will be fun,” Uma said, slamming her heel down hard on Ben’s foot. He screamed. 

“Not so tough without your little princess protecting you,” Uma smiled. “Not so tough when I’ve got you trapped, all mine.”

Ben coughed. His foot hurt, and his arms hurt, and he could barely move. But he closed his eyes, and he listened to the beat. 

“Listen to me when I talk to you,” Uma glared, stomping down on the same foot. Ben winced and groaned at the pain, but he’d found the beat. He opened his eyes and looked directly at Uma. 

“Sometimes I feel I’ve got to—“

STOMP STOMP. He heard it again, louder this time. 

“—run away, I’ve got to—“

STOMP STOMP. 

“—get away, from the pain—“

“Stop that,” Uma said, stepping on Ben’s foot again, twisting with her heel. Ben screamed from the pain but kept singing. 

“—you drive into the heart of me, the love we share—“

“Stop it!” Uma said, and she struck Ben across the face. One of her rings cut open another line on Ben’s cheek, but he kept singing. 

“—seems to go nowhere, and I’ve lost my light, for I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night!” Ben was getting the rhythm, feeling where the song was supposed to go. 

“Stop singing or I kill you right now, Mal be damned,” Uma said, darkly. She was deadly serious. Ben faltered for a moment. Nothing was making him sing other than the fact that he heard a beat and wanted to sing. Was a song really worth his life?

He was in pain. He was hurting. And he knew that there would be a time in some distant future when all of that pain would be gone, but that was far away. If Uma really killed him, the pain would stop, right now. And he wanted to sing, he really did—he felt his heart soaring, desperate to keep going. It was worth his life, even to sing one more line, and then if Uma killed him he could die at peace. So he took a deep breath, and he sang. 

“Once I ran to you—“ Ben sang, and quick as a flash, Uma’s dagger was in her hand, and she stabbed him under the diaphragm, sliding up towards the heart past his ribcage. 

“I told you to stop singing,” Uma said. 

Ben spat blood. “Now I run from you,” he sang, weakly. “This tainted love you’ve given...I give...you all...a boy...could...” he was getting very cold. His stomach was sticky and wet. The air smelled faintly of iron. 

“Still won’t shut up?” Uma knocked over the chair and kicked Ben in the side of the head. 

“Take my...tears...and...that’s not...really...ALL!” Ben gasped, fighting to stay conscious. (Come on, Uma, finish the job, don’t make it last, Ben thought. Just kill me, get it over with. I’m ready.)

Uma put her foot on Ben’s head and pressed down. “Can’t say it hasn’t been fun. Sorry it had to end like this, but you wouldn’t shut up.”

“Tainted love,” Ben choked out, spitting blood out with the words. And then everything faded away. 


	21. Chapter 21

Ben gasped awake in his own bedroom, with Mal, Evie, Carlos, Jay, Jane, even the fairy godmother around him. 

“What happened,” he whispered hoarsely. Evie passed him a cup of water and he drank, wincing at how it felt to move his stiff shoulders. He reached up to his forehead, where he found a bloody injury that hurt to touch. Frantic, he patted at his stomach, but there was only a shallow cut, not the stab wound he remembered receiving. 

“Ben!” Mal said, leaning forward and hugging him. Ben winced at the contact, put he put his arms around Mal. 

“Hey,” he smiled. “There’s my dragon.”

“You’ve been...unconscious? No...spelled? No...” Evie struggled to describe what had happened. “A little over two days ago, you started acting like you weren’t here, like you were experiencing something else. You just sat in that chair—“ (the chair had been knocked over and moved out of the way) “—and a cut or bruise appeared on you every so often.”

“Uma told me— gack,” Ben spat blood onto the ground, and they group took a collective scoot away from him. 

“Do you know what happened?” Mal asked, touching Ben’s shoulder reassuringly. 

“Uma told me...among other things, that she’d managed to spell me long-distance, while I was here, and that I was really trapped there...with her,” Ben shuddered. Jay grabbed a blanket from the bed and tossed it over Ben. 

“Maybe we should sit him ON the bed, as opposed to moving the blankets to the floor,” Fairy godmother suggested. Ben was weak and could barley walk, but they helped him into the bed. 

“It’s all going to be okay now,” Mal said, wiping at one of Ben’s cuts with a damp towel. 

“I think it’s not,” Ben said, quietly. 

“What do you mean?” Jane asked. 

“Either Uma spelled me again, which means she can reach me like that no matter where I go, or she didn’t spell me again and I’m just broken, and this sort of thing is going to happen for the rest of my life until I die,” Ben said, leaning his head back onto the pillows calmly. “Can’t even prove this is real. But it feels better than what I was doing before now, so I’m going to get some sleep.”


	22. Chapter 22

Ben woke up the next morning to find himself in a comfortable bed, with nothing but minor aches and pains, healing fast. He looked around. It certainly looked like Mal’s castle. And he smiled to see Mal asleep in a chair next to him, fully clothed, sketchbook open on her lap as if she’d fallen asleep mid-sketch. Her head tilted back and she snores slightly. Ben felt at his wrists with his hands. There were marks on him, and they looked like rope, so he knew for certain that something real had happened.

He looked at the room, taking in his surroundings. The sunlight streamed through open windows, the fresh air smelled slightly of pine needles, and he could hear birds singing outside. He looked back at his wrists, with the markings. He didn’t feel like he was spelled. If he was still back in Uma’s castle and she’d spelled him, she’d at least done a good job. 

Then again, maybe Ben wouldn’t even notice if she’d done a good job, he was so messed up from the previous attempts. He wondered if there was any kind of objective way to test it—probably not, because there isn’t really a way to test if everything around you is going on in your head. You still feel it and have to act like it’s real. 

This was more comfortable than being at Uma’s, at least. If it was a spell, it was preferable to living another day of that torture. Ben would rather be dead than back in Uma’s clutches. He considered waking Mal to tell her this, then wondered if maybe he WAS dead, and this was heaven, or a dream or something. Maybe it was better if he was dead, and he wouldn’t have to worry about any of this anymore. 

Mal stirred and grunted once in her sleep, and it was so realistically her there was no way Ben could invent it in a dream. Ben sighed happily. Yeah. This was preferable to being dead, easily.

Later that day, Ben met with the fairy godmother. She’d prepared a spell to start treating his wounds, and began administering it while they talked. 

“So...from everyone else’s perspective, I was just sitting there in that room?”

“I’m afraid so,” the fairy godmother fussed. 

“How did I get these, then?” Ben held up his wrists. The marks were clearly from ropes, but if nothing had been restraining him...

“The marks appeared on you, seemingly with no reason behind it,” fairy godmother said, taking Ben’s wrist and applying her wand to the injury. It began to close up under the touch, and he felt the pain go away. “The things you experienced were magically linked to your body, so everything that happened affected your body as if it was real.”

Ben felt his stomach, where he’d been stabbed. Or remembered being stabbed. Imagined being stabbed? He wasn’t sure what the proper phrasing would be. “Was it real?” He asked. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Ben licked his dry lips nervously, “was I spelled? Did Uma put some kind of spell on me to make me think I was back there, and give me the marks like I really was? Or...was it all in my head, and I only imagined it...there was never a spell, and I did it all to myself, and it’s another side effect from wha she did to me.”

“I...I wish I knew,” the fairy godmother confessed. “We have no way of knowing something like that.”

“It felt real,” Ben whispered. 

“It was real, in some ways,” fairy godmother said, pointing at the remaining marks on Ben’s face and arms.

“If I made it all up—“

“Hush now,” she snapped. “Did you want this to happen?”

“Maybe I did,” Ben said, on the verge of tears. “Uma said...she thought...that my brain, it’s too messed up, and I can’t make it out in the real world anymore.”

“Oh, child,” fairy godmother said, wrapping him in a hug. “That’s not true.”

“How do you know that?” It came out angrily. Ben sniffed and wiped at a tear. 

“You broke whatever it was, if it was a spell, if it was your own head, if it was something else, you came out of it,” fairy godmother smiled kindly. “You sang and you were able to come out of it, to come back to Mal.”

“But—“

“No buts,” she insisted. “This train of thought is no longer productive. You aren’t using this to think about potential solutions, you’re using it to make yourself feel bad. And that’s enough of that.”

“Thank you,” Ben said, awkwardly. “But...doesn’t it matter? Don’t I have to know if it was real or not?”

“There are injuries on you, and there’s a trauma in your heart, and you’re hurting,” fairy godmother said, hugging him. “That’s real. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, you’re feeling it. It’s real. And we can deal with it, and we will live another day.”

Ben hugged back and nodded. 

Later, Ben sat with Mal on the edge of the enchanted lake. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked. 

He shrugged. “I’m not sure. How are my eyes?”

She peered closer. “Specks of gold in a beautiful hazel-green.”

“Still gold,” Ben sighed. Mal took his hand. 

“But mostly hazel,” she squeeze his hand gently. 

“What if they’re partly gold forever?” Ben asked. 

“Then we’ll both have little gold flecks in our eyes,” Mal shrugged. 

“But what if...” Ben groaned, and put his head in his hands. “What if I’m never the old Ben again. What if I’ve permanently changed, and I’m not the same person you fell in love with?”

“You’ve been through a lot,” Mal said, rubbing the back of his hand. “I’d hope that it changes you. You don’t stay the same person you’re whole life.”

Ben bit his lip and looked up at her. “Would you say that you still...that you still have very strong feelings for me?”

“I love you,” Mal said, kissing Ben gently on the forehead. “You don’t stop loving someone just because they need you. You don’t stop loving someone just because they need something that isn’t you. You’re a person, and you have needs, and maybe those are different now, but you’re my person, and I’m yours. We’re gonna be all right.”

“Yeah,” Ben said, leaning against her shoulder. “We’re gonna be all right.” He splashed his foot in the enchanted lake water and smiled. “I’m gonna be all right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re finally here! The end. Thank you for reading!
> 
> The story doesn’t end here. There’s still a long way to go to find “normal” and to heal from what’s happened. But Ben is safe, and knows that he’s worthy of love, and his friends will stand by him and protect him. If they don’t know how, they’ll figure it out. Because at the end of the day, this is still Ben, and even if he’s different, he is loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Were any of these story elements interesting, but i didn’t write about them enough? Shoot me a comment and I may write more—otherwise, consider this story complete! Take THAT, nanowrimo, ha ha!


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